A book. Just a book. A not-so-special book about a teenage girl who falls in love with a vampire. But people take it to THE EXTREME!!! On the day the Twilight movie came out in England (December 19th 2007) EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE (excluding myself) went to see it on the day it came out.
Normally people accosiated vampires with Gothic novel. And according to a magazine that I read, it said that 'Twilight is a gothic novel where Bella Swan falls head over heels for the hot boy' WTF?? It is not Gothic at all!! No old haunted mansion, no bats, no PROPER vampires!! And how can you fall head over heels for someone, when we are, in fact, like that anyway??
Now, I admit that I read it when I am unbelievably (sp?) bored, and I do sort of blush a bit when Bella and Edward are talking or something,and I do like it's squeal, New Moon, because Bella is not all gooey over Edward, and hangs around with the werewolf, Jacob, who is, in my opinon, much hotter than Bella.
Also, LOADS of flaws:
Flaw 1: Vampires do not sparkle in the sun
Flaw 2: Vampires sleep in coffins during the day
Flaw 3: Vampires have fangs
Also, in Breaking Dawn (which I put down halfway due to it beng so unplausable)Edward bites Bella to make her into a vampire, yet in Twilight, he claims he has no fangs... How does he bite her if he has no fangs??
If you want to read a gothic novel, try Charlotte Brontes Jane Eyre. Real love, real gothic.
Normally people accosiated vampires with Gothic novel. And according to a magazine that I read, it said that 'Twilight is a gothic novel where Bella Swan falls head over heels for the hot boy' WTF?? It is not Gothic at all!! No old haunted mansion, no bats, no PROPER vampires!! And how can you fall head over heels for someone, when we are, in fact, like that anyway??
Now, I admit that I read it when I am unbelievably (sp?) bored, and I do sort of blush a bit when Bella and Edward are talking or something,and I do like it's squeal, New Moon, because Bella is not all gooey over Edward, and hangs around with the werewolf, Jacob, who is, in my opinon, much hotter than Bella.
Also, LOADS of flaws:
Flaw 1: Vampires do not sparkle in the sun
Flaw 2: Vampires sleep in coffins during the day
Flaw 3: Vampires have fangs
Also, in Breaking Dawn (which I put down halfway due to it beng so unplausable)Edward bites Bella to make her into a vampire, yet in Twilight, he claims he has no fangs... How does he bite her if he has no fangs??
If you want to read a gothic novel, try Charlotte Brontes Jane Eyre. Real love, real gothic.
TwilightFan: OMG Twilight Movie is AMAZING!!!
Me: WTF??
TwilightFan2: OMG I CANT BELIEVE BELLA MARRIED EDWARD AND HAD A HALF HUMAN/HALF VAMPIRE BABY!! I AM SOOOOOOOO JEALOUS!!!
Me: *slaps her around the head* FFS GET A LIFE!!! *gives her one last slap around the head for luck*
Me: WTF??
TwilightFan2: OMG I CANT BELIEVE BELLA MARRIED EDWARD AND HAD A HALF HUMAN/HALF VAMPIRE BABY!! I AM SOOOOOOOO JEALOUS!!!
Me: *slaps her around the head* FFS GET A LIFE!!! *gives her one last slap around the head for luck*
by chemicalvian January 24, 2009
GAY. Twilight is about some emo chick who falls in love with a gray gay vampire... he, I think likes it in the butt.... Stephanie Myer ( or whatever ) is stupid and most of the books are describing his details about his gray skin and shit, what the hell.... like seriously she seems in love with some gay vampire she made up...
dude 1: have you read twilight?
dude 2: NO, its fuckin gay its about some gayy vampire
dude 1: oh thank god i didnt read it!
dude 2: NO, its fuckin gay its about some gayy vampire
dude 1: oh thank god i didnt read it!
by twilighthater1 May 31, 2009
1) The pretty time between night and day.
2) A book, you may or may not care about, about sparkly vampires and a brunette who wants to be one. There may be some werewolves thrown in it somewhere.
3) The object of many Teeny boppers affections.
2) A book, you may or may not care about, about sparkly vampires and a brunette who wants to be one. There may be some werewolves thrown in it somewhere.
3) The object of many Teeny boppers affections.
1) Twilight is a pretty time of day.
2) WTF? This Twilight book makes no sense!
3) OMG!!! Twilight makes so much sense to me!
2) WTF? This Twilight book makes no sense!
3) OMG!!! Twilight makes so much sense to me!
by skunkpit September 15, 2009
Read by girls who probably haven't even heard of Jane Austen or Edith Wharton, who are two of the best female authors and writers of the best love stories ever written. (i.e.: 'Pride and Prejudice', 'Summer', 'The Age of Innocence', 'Ethan Frome', 'Sense and Sensibility', etc).
A book with underdevelopped characters, a whiney protaganist, a 'perfect' vampire romeo who is more a controlling son-of-a-bitch than Casanova, and writing that lacks depth and imagery. The basis that 'true love comes from resisting having sex and killing your girlfriend' is one of the most ridiculous themes in any book I've ever read.
Read a real book.
A book with underdevelopped characters, a whiney protaganist, a 'perfect' vampire romeo who is more a controlling son-of-a-bitch than Casanova, and writing that lacks depth and imagery. The basis that 'true love comes from resisting having sex and killing your girlfriend' is one of the most ridiculous themes in any book I've ever read.
Read a real book.
Girl: 'Wow. Twilight has changed my views on love! Can you believe that a GUY is resisting having sex with a girl?! That takes WILLPOWER! Especially because he could KILL her! How dreamy. I wish a guy would risk his labiedo for my safety!'
Girl's Friend: 'I know, right! I wish I were Bella Swan. I want a relationship like that! .. I'm so lonely.'
Girl's Friend: 'I know, right! I wish I were Bella Swan. I want a relationship like that! .. I'm so lonely.'
by Read a book, for you brain. August 17, 2008
a series written by a hack author who spends almost the whole book describing the character edward so that the junior high students and emotionally shallow girls can think of how "attractive" he is because he sparkles in sunlight. all in all a very poorly written book series that needs to be buried deeper than the arc of the covenent. if you find outrage in this you are a twilight fan girl and enjoy one dimensional characters and need to pick up a real book. i suggest the H.P. lovecraft series because that sends a euphoric chill down the spine once in a while.
girl: hey ryan i just bought the whole twilight set and i absolutly love edward he is so dreamy i want to make love with him.
me: you realize he is a character in a book and not real right?
girl:i dont care if he isnt real he is soooooooo dreamy.
me: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(v-.-)>p== -- (x.xv)
me: you realize he is a character in a book and not real right?
girl:i dont care if he isnt real he is soooooooo dreamy.
me: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(v-.-)>p== -- (x.xv)
by i am the gnu!!!!! June 01, 2009
Stephenie Meyer's book series for teenage girls. The first novel was good distracting trash reading with excellent mind-candy (Edward and his vampires) but ultimately spawned three increasingly crappy follow-ups. The main character and protagonist is Bella Swan, who lives in the middle of nowhere, Oregon (modern day), and is 16-18 throughout the series.
Despite being the narrator, Bella cannot be considered the heroine, or even a likable character, to due her frequent acts of falling in front of cars, throwing herself off cliffs, threatening suicide, and other dumb shit.
She has the typical "not your normal teenage girl" qualities, like clumsiness, academic intelligence, bookreading, and other traits that supposedly distinguish her from her peers. For example, she jokes that she is an "albino" and even reveals her knowledge of the word "misogynistic" (so witty! so clever!) but really, is overall an empty shell in which any other teenage girl can project her personality into and "identify" with. Also bears an uncanny resemblance to the books' author, Stephenie Meyer. Twilight would be a hell of a lot more readable without her running around, shrieking, fainting, and having seizures all over the place, and generally screwing things up.
She falls in love with the hot, mysterious guy at her school, and naturally, the hot guy becomes obsessed with her. His name is Edward, he's a vampire, and he craves her blood, which creates a fascinating dynamic between them, but a petty excuse to justify love on his part. (More like after 108 years, Edward woke up one day, realized he was the oldest virgin on the face of the planet and realized that he needed to tap that fast)
THe author asks the readers to believe that an intelligent and insanely hot vampire like Edward has never looked at any other girl, and plain, clumsy Bella is the only girl that has ever attracted him. Readers with sense roll their eyes, but the implausibility of the hot dangerous guy falling for the quiet, unattractive girl makes young virgins and bored housewives everywhere shriek. Twilight books fly off the shelves, and SM makes an instant fortune writing bad teenage high-school fantasy fanfiction.
The writing itself is also pretty terrible. While admittedly addictive, SM should be fined for her use of thesaurus-rape, and the endless descriptions of Edward's physical beauty is enough to make anyone hurl onto the book cover. It's sexy as hell, but more often than not proceeds like this:
Bella: I love you.
Edward: I like you too, but I might kill you and I need time to brood (instant fainting and sighs occur)
Bella: But I want you.
Edward: You're a moron for wanting me.
Bella: I dont like CARE YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS, stay with me or i'll like kill myself, your hair is so bronze and sexy OMG OMG
Then after reading the book you're amazed to find out that the whole series serves to present the overarching theme of Mormon chastity. Thus Edward and Bella doesn't get down and dirty until the fourth book, to everyone's disappointment (sexual tension is always better than doing the nasty, in which we dont even WANT to know how rock-hard Edward and delicate Bella get it on). The ending is of course, happy and shit. SM tries to get all Anne Rice/LOTR by writing about the Vulturi, a secret vampire order and shit, but it becomes very lame and in the end you don't care who they are.
Oh, and Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire, half-human fetus, and upon birth Edward has to tear it out of her stomach with his teeth. True story.
Despite being the narrator, Bella cannot be considered the heroine, or even a likable character, to due her frequent acts of falling in front of cars, throwing herself off cliffs, threatening suicide, and other dumb shit.
She has the typical "not your normal teenage girl" qualities, like clumsiness, academic intelligence, bookreading, and other traits that supposedly distinguish her from her peers. For example, she jokes that she is an "albino" and even reveals her knowledge of the word "misogynistic" (so witty! so clever!) but really, is overall an empty shell in which any other teenage girl can project her personality into and "identify" with. Also bears an uncanny resemblance to the books' author, Stephenie Meyer. Twilight would be a hell of a lot more readable without her running around, shrieking, fainting, and having seizures all over the place, and generally screwing things up.
She falls in love with the hot, mysterious guy at her school, and naturally, the hot guy becomes obsessed with her. His name is Edward, he's a vampire, and he craves her blood, which creates a fascinating dynamic between them, but a petty excuse to justify love on his part. (More like after 108 years, Edward woke up one day, realized he was the oldest virgin on the face of the planet and realized that he needed to tap that fast)
THe author asks the readers to believe that an intelligent and insanely hot vampire like Edward has never looked at any other girl, and plain, clumsy Bella is the only girl that has ever attracted him. Readers with sense roll their eyes, but the implausibility of the hot dangerous guy falling for the quiet, unattractive girl makes young virgins and bored housewives everywhere shriek. Twilight books fly off the shelves, and SM makes an instant fortune writing bad teenage high-school fantasy fanfiction.
The writing itself is also pretty terrible. While admittedly addictive, SM should be fined for her use of thesaurus-rape, and the endless descriptions of Edward's physical beauty is enough to make anyone hurl onto the book cover. It's sexy as hell, but more often than not proceeds like this:
Bella: I love you.
Edward: I like you too, but I might kill you and I need time to brood (instant fainting and sighs occur)
Bella: But I want you.
Edward: You're a moron for wanting me.
Bella: I dont like CARE YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS, stay with me or i'll like kill myself, your hair is so bronze and sexy OMG OMG
Then after reading the book you're amazed to find out that the whole series serves to present the overarching theme of Mormon chastity. Thus Edward and Bella doesn't get down and dirty until the fourth book, to everyone's disappointment (sexual tension is always better than doing the nasty, in which we dont even WANT to know how rock-hard Edward and delicate Bella get it on). The ending is of course, happy and shit. SM tries to get all Anne Rice/LOTR by writing about the Vulturi, a secret vampire order and shit, but it becomes very lame and in the end you don't care who they are.
Oh, and Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire, half-human fetus, and upon birth Edward has to tear it out of her stomach with his teeth. True story.
It is hard to pick which one was more traumatizing, the gross mutant baby birth or this passage from Twilight:
"You....made...me faint" I accused him dizzily.
"So much for being good at everything," he sighed.
"That's the problem." I was still dizzy. "You're TOO good. Far, far, too good at everything"
"You....made...me faint" I accused him dizzily.
"So much for being good at everything," he sighed.
"That's the problem." I was still dizzy. "You're TOO good. Far, far, too good at everything"
by balezealot December 27, 2008
It's a good book.
But there's still some flaws in it.
The story is completely PLAIN.
Every book of the series is basically:
- Bella getting into trouble.
- Relationship problems with Jacob & Edward.
- Bella getting hunted.
- Edward and the family to the rescue.
- Bella's safe.
And so on. :| It's like, the WHOLE story could be ended in two books, but the author decided to rant just to make a profit. :X
But there's still some flaws in it.
The story is completely PLAIN.
Every book of the series is basically:
- Bella getting into trouble.
- Relationship problems with Jacob & Edward.
- Bella getting hunted.
- Edward and the family to the rescue.
- Bella's safe.
And so on. :| It's like, the WHOLE story could be ended in two books, but the author decided to rant just to make a profit. :X
Person #1: Twilight rocks!
Person #2: Yeah, but don't you think the story's getting a little overrated? The author could just end it in the 2nd book. There's obviously nothing much to write about. It's just chaos, chaos, & chaos in Bella's world. Cmon. THAT B*TCH IS DESPERATE TO SLEEP WITH HER BF!? WTF?! THAT'S DEF A FIRST.
Person #1: CHILLLL DUDE.
Person #2: Yeah, whatever. I just hope the book ends ASAP.
Person #2: Yeah, but don't you think the story's getting a little overrated? The author could just end it in the 2nd book. There's obviously nothing much to write about. It's just chaos, chaos, & chaos in Bella's world. Cmon. THAT B*TCH IS DESPERATE TO SLEEP WITH HER BF!? WTF?! THAT'S DEF A FIRST.
Person #1: CHILLLL DUDE.
Person #2: Yeah, whatever. I just hope the book ends ASAP.
by WORMIE101 January 04, 2008