dirty mittens

When you shit in a mitten, and proceed to fist a female with it

“I gave this girl dirty mittens last night, she loved it

by Pablo.eskybruh August 24, 2020

Frozen Mitten

Originating in Minnesota, it is when a male jacks off into a mitten and puts the mitten outside so it can freeze overnight. This is in preparation for having a mate over the next night. The cum-filled mitten should be frozen by the time your mate comes over, and it is then used to spank your mate.

Friend 1: Prepare a frozen mitten before your lady comes over for sexy time, don't ya know!
Friend 2: You betcha!

by MinnesotaLoveMaker December 1, 2020

Spaff mitten

The posh term for a Wank Sock.
A favoured and special sock used during masturbation for the capture of ejaculate.

I was changing our sons bedsheets last week when I discovered his heavily crystallised Spaff Mitten stuck to the underneath of the mattress.

by Garf1981 February 10, 2021

fist mitten

1.) Of or pertaining to a person(s) Anus, Rectum, Rear-end, Butthole; particularly of one whom likes to be fisted.

2.) An Internal Body Part/Place Where One Might Use To Stash Illegal Contraband.

3.) May Also Be Known As A Man Vault, Backdoor, Butt Safe or The Vault; To Name A Few.

When pertaining to areas on the human body where one might try to conceal illegal items, mainly drugs, it may be necssary to stash it inside the anus- or jokingly the fist mitten (especially if the person is male & gay.)

To Be Used In A Humorous Nature, Not Offensive.

by CrazyCrab69 October 25, 2022

sweater mittens

breasts, generally of the smaller variety

Veronica's dress fit like a glove, putting every inch of her body on display, from her subtle posterior, to her perky little sweater mittens.

by MrMOSCRU September 7, 2009

kicking mittens

The act of smoking weed or wanting to smoke weed.

"Let's go kick some mittens."

"Hold on im kicking mittens."

by M-T-Byr-ne November 20, 2006

Flesh Mitten

Step 1: find a chick with ass-gape like you read about
Step 2: get elbow deep in that shit
Step 3: Bang her from behind
Step 4: Jerk yourself off with your flesh mitt.

After I successfully performed the flesh mitten on this chick I called every member of my family to tell them how fucking sweet time I am.

by The Stink Finger January 17, 2011