half-hour clock technique

noun: a clock-watching form of procrastination, in which the procrastinator schedules the "start time" of a dreaded task based on the next "half-hour" mark of the clock. For example, if the clock reads "1:35", a procrastinator employing the half-hour clock technique will start the task when the clock strikes "2:00", usually filling in this time gap with activities such as web surfing and masturbation. The technique is popular amongst perfectionists, numerologists, the obsessive compulsive and unemployed spectrum of procrastinators.

Hey, it's 4:47. Did you finish writing that cover letter?

Actually I did not. I was waiting till 5:00 to start. I'm using the half-hour clock technique.

by 77jim April 8, 2011

Five Point Exploding Ass Technique

Derived from the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique used at the end of Kill Bill 2. Used to refer to a bowel movement that sprays rather unpleasantly into the toilet, leaving an aweful mess to clean up. Frequently encountered the morning after a night of heavy drinking which was followed by a suspicious curry.

Argh, I had the most horrific Five Point Exploding Ass Technique this morning! Damn that curry!

by Oofnun September 1, 2010

1-2-3-4 Study Technique

1. Drink an energy drink, preferably something strong like NOS
2. Look through your notes as fast as you can, regardless of if you can actually read it or understand it.
3. Bust a Nut (tm).
4. Take a nap.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 as necessary.

Also known as the 3-4-3

"Have you heard of the 1-2-3-4 Study Technique?"
"Yeah dude, in fact, I'm going to do a 3-4-3 right now before my chemistry test!"
"Awesome!"

by Erik Ward October 3, 2007

Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross Technique

When rolling an unconscious person from their back into the side recovery positions, raise their near-side knee up and cross that ankle over the opposite leg - this simple ankle cross will make the person roll over easily and could safe their life by preventing aspiration of vomit. This is called the Jessica Ankle Cross Technique named after the medical doctor who demonstrated it.

He's really big, if you don't use the Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross technique you'll never be able to roll him into the Recovery Position after be became unconscious.

by First Aid Skills and Whatnot March 10, 2020

Reverse Rizz Technique

Reverse Rizz Technique: A Rizz Technique where you start off by insulting a shorty and then proceed to take back your statement as a joke making her become more intrested in you than if you just approached her being nice. This works because the Emotional Distance from dislike to like is greater than having no opnion to liking someone.

Basically, turning something negative into something positive.

Eugene: Yo Isaiah , How do I use Reverse Rizz Technique?
Isaiah : Watch This. (Walks up to girl)
Isaiah : Hey, lowkey you look like fiona from shrek no bullshit.
Girl 1: What the fuck..?
Jamal: Nah, i'm just fucking with you, you look mad cute, slide em digits
Girl 1: (Giggles) Okay.

by Sealed Dev December 28, 2023

Dhami Technique

A technique used by the less fortunate and taught by the great DHAMI. First discovered in 1703 by a man stuck in a sexless marriage. Involves the male using a special technique applying a tornado like motion with the penis to the vagina. 100% success rate.

I used the Dhami Technique and lost my virginity.

The Dhami Technique helped me convince my girlfriend in having sexual intercourse.

by The great Dhami October 20, 2021

Technique

"If it's a 'Technique' it's a lie... And one of the techniques I use is *blank* but it's 'true' when I do it." Dr. Jordan Peterson

Hym "If it's a 'Technique' it's a lie.... Unless you're the one using the technique then it's not. Fantastic. It's funny that that's how 'the structure of reality' works. Using techniques makes you a liar... But then you accidentally outline a technique that YOU USE.... And then you give yourself a caveat because I was correct. There's always a caveat. YOU are never the bad guy. You're never a liar. Because when you lie it's not a lie. When I tell the truth... It isn't the truth. Ha! Hahaha! It's hilarious! You just don't survive in a place where everyone isn't retards you can swindle. That's why the recession into solipsism. Put up a fence around your little retard farm and then siphon off as much resources as you can... Die... Give it to your kids... So they don't have to to work as hard as everyone else. You sell hard work (in abstraction) to people... So you and your kids can work less hard. That's the entire game.

by Hym Iam February 23, 2024