doodoo hammock

When your buttcrack hairs get so long and tangled, they make a hammock for your turd.

Me: Dude! I took the gnarliest poop the other day but not all of my shit hit the water. I had to pinch and pull.

Friend: Have you trimmed your ass hairs lately?
Me: No. WTF?

Friend: Yeah man, sometimes your ass hairs grow and get tangled. You must have some serious doodoo hammocks goin on.

by TurdAlert July 25, 2014

Cum Hammock

When cum from the penis is attached at the tip of their penis & also on the sexual partner.

“I pulled it out and gave her a cum hammock!”

by toiletwaterdaughter April 29, 2021

hammockable

A romantic relationship which has ended, but is still friendly enough to share a hammock.

Jim and Sue parted ways, but still shared a single hammock on occasional visits to the park; it was a hammockable separation.

by njmac57 May 4, 2019

Mam hammock

A bikini or bra worn by a female whose sag or loss of pertness requires the most highly reinforced titty receptacle.

After spawning 5 children by the age of 30 and consuming sufficient calories to have sustained them all to puberty, the level of engineering demanded of her mam hammock was beyond the ken of modern science.

by Apatoeman July 21, 2018

hammock ride

PG-13 euphemism for intercourse between consenting adults. Popularized by Danny DeVito as on an episode of Taxi when his character (Louie DePalma) confessed to Rhea Perlman (who played his girlfriend on the show) that he had an affair behind her back.

"Well, Sophie and I.....we took a hammock ride."

"Losers whine and make excuses. Winners do their dirty work and take a hammock ride with the prom queen."

by Ten Forward September 14, 2015

Hobo Hammocks

Any human found to own a hobo hammock is the best kind of human because they helped feed the homeless when they bought it. This hammock can be replaced at any time for any reason. Eg. Grandma was in the hammock and pooped her pants. You can get a new one for free from the company.

Bro, I left my knife in my back pocket again and cut open my hobo hammock. But no worries, I emailed Hobo Hammocks, and they sent me a new one for free!

by HoboHam April 15, 2020

Rattlesnake Hammock

Male thong worn by a person with STDs. Also see banana hammock.

"That stripper rocks a rattlesnake hammock, not a banana hammock."

by Ghost_anon June 2, 2022