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Crunchy Granola Bar

A noun used to reference a very attractive granola guy. They are most often found in states like Colorado, generally in the mountains, at co-ops, or canvassing for the Green Party. A Crunchy Granola Bar is a vegetarian, if not a vegan, and usually buys from local organic farmers.
Beth: "Have you met Kasey's new boyfriend Brandon?"

Heidi: "Oh that Crunchy Granola Bar? I heard he just moved here from Denver."
by deltacircle August 2, 2010
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crunch monkey

Someone who eats like an animal. They chew with their mouth open, crunch loudly, talk with their mouth open, and are completely oblivious that they do it.
Mike: Dude...Jen is such a crunch monkey.
Bob: I can even see what she ate for breakfast!
by Mikizzle May 1, 2006
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Related Words

Crunchy Ass Birdhouses

When your friends are being some crunchy ass birdhouses
"you guys are some crunchy ass birdhouses"
by iswearimnotjustin July 8, 2020
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Sloppy crunch

DJ loves to use KFC drumsticks in girls as sex toys so he can enjoy their sloppy crunch.
by Kara Rauman September 23, 2009
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coco-crunchy-k

the worlds greatest breakfast cereal.
a perfect combination between coco pops, special k and crunchy nut.

originally made by the man/legend colm o'sullivan
guy 1: dude, whats that?!?
guy 2;its coco-crunchy-k! a mix between coco pops, special k and crunchy nut.
by the bear and the fox March 18, 2010
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blunder crunching

Combination of "blunder" and "number crunching," describing the exasperating experience of trying to figure out which supermarket item is giving you more for your money on a dollar per ounce basis.

A lot of times these days supermarkets will break down the cost per ounce right on the face of the shelf price tag. However, sometimes you find yourself blundering through basic algebra, trying your best to hold your own. Forget about it if you're trying to convert between grams and ounces: you're just done, and you'll make your decision on some other factor.

If you have your phone with you, you can use the calculator function to avoid blunder crunching. In no case, however, must you mumble to yourself out loud as you try to do the calculations.
Don't be the guy mumbling to himself while trying to decide between Starkist tuna or the store brand. Keep your blunder crunching as private as possible.
by Ae5Ea8 April 6, 2015
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Dutch Crunch

A Dutch Crunch is a sexual act in which the female slams her buttocks upon the males testicles before he is about to climax.
Nicolas: man! I don’t know if I’ll ever reproduce!

Kyle: What happened bro?

Nicolas: Dude! Last night Cynthia gave me the ol’ dutch crunch. Totally rocked my world.

Kyle: You’re a freak bro.....
by DirtSquizzeral September 1, 2018
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