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Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.
"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."
by bighairyotter August 10, 2021
mugGet the Deliveroo and wankmug.

big telly pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.
He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.
by Mackem Beefy September 19, 2021
mugGet the big telly pokey bum wankmug.

Wank and dank

Tyrone asked Jamal what he’s been doing lately and tyron said just wank and dank
by Yeye ass haircut January 29, 2021
mugGet the Wank and dankmug.

Spider man wank

When ones wearing pair of dirty knickers on his face as a mask while wanking
by Big dick Ernie November 22, 2021
mugGet the Spider man wankmug.

Climate Wanking

When politicians or the elite complain about climate change and how the world is coming to an end, and essentially use it to get votes from people who care or as a crutch for NOT talking about actual problems the world faces.
Keith: Dude, I have been so busy, I have not read anything about the latest G20 Summit, have you been following?

Mike: Ya, it is the same Climate Wanking all the time. I wish they would talk about China running the world economy, or how to get people back to work.

Keith: Ugh, Climate Wanking, such a waste of time. No wonder everyone hates these politicians and condescending celebrities. Talk about real world stuff, bruh.
by Mike109999 November 2, 2021
mugGet the Climate Wankingmug.

a nigel suicide speed wank

when your having a wank just before blowing your mayonnaise load, shout out Mum!!!!(diseased and rotting). bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room
by mrs tosser October 19, 2025
mugGet the a nigel suicide speed wankmug.

Willy wank dingle dong doodler

A string of words describing a penis
by REVGHOST October 1, 2022
mugGet the Willy wank dingle dong doodlermug.

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