pooey bum wank

When you've just finished pooing and the moment takes you before you wipe
Aaron: I had a pooey bum wank to your wife last night

Jake: Dude! you could've wiped first!
by Freeboy March 10, 2023
mugGet the pooey bum wankmug.
You at the end of the day when the gig has finished and all the pretty girls have gone home with their handsome boyfriends to have it off and you're in a cheap Travelodge hotel room all lonely and trying to imagine yourself with those girls by having it off with yourself (masturbating). Sadly, it rarely helps the situation and you end up more depressed than before.
The gig has ended and all the pretty girls have gone home with their boyfriends and I'm here having a lonely wank in a Travelodge. So depressing.
by TheFunnyGuy88 June 30, 2022
mugGet the A lonely wank in a Travelodgemug.

big telly pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.
He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.
by Mackem Beefy September 19, 2021
mugGet the big telly pokey bum wankmug.

Wank and dank

Tyrone asked Jamal what he’s been doing lately and tyron said just wank and dank
by Yeye ass haircut January 29, 2021
mugGet the Wank and dankmug.

Pretzel wank

An exciting masturbation technique for the more experienced and flexible. You put your arm behind your body and bring your hand underneath and between your thighs while squatting. Grabbing your little fella and slap it till it lamattacks everywhere. The shape you end up in resembles a pretzel
1) When you become bored of solo one handed cranking , Change it up with a pretzel wank.

2) If your stuck in a situation where you are crammed in a tight space and alone. Why not have a pretzel wank?
by Itsfarkinchriso June 1, 2017
mugGet the Pretzel wankmug.

Fury wank

When someone gets that excited about the boxing they jizz in their pants
Barry was so excited bout the fight he done a fury wank
by Barry charver October 10, 2021
mugGet the Fury wankmug.

Flakey Bum-Wank

A deviation of the Pokey Bum-Wank where a chocolate sweet is used as a replacement for the finger. The sweet treat is inserted into the anus whilst carrying out the five-knuckle-shuffle to heighten the participants' pleasure. This may also be of benefit to those that have to take emergency action to control their blood-sugar levels due to a diabetic emergency - though there is little medical evidence to prove that this will successfully prevent the patient from slipping into a coma mid-wank.
I am feeling particularly horny having left the gym all pumped up and after observing the lycra-clad lovelies that were also working out. However, I have unsuccessfully kept control of my blood-sugars and need to take urgent action. I think I will kill two birds with one stone and have myself a Flakey Bum-Wank.
by normanstanleyfletcher April 5, 2025
mugGet the Flakey Bum-Wankmug.

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