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beating a dead penis

When someone excessively pesters you about whether you had an erection in response to seeing someone
Peter: So you had a massive boner the entire time, right?
Paul: No, dude, you're beating a dead penis.
by TheNonErect August 9, 2023
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dead-james-potter

best user on tumblr by far and the number 1 creator of james jokes we love loony loony is amazing literally funny as hell they're posts make my day and I love them a lot slayyy they're so cool
dead-james-potter the ceo of making dead james jokes
by darkhumourlol April 5, 2022
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Dead Man's Float

Floating face down in water, making it difficult to breathe
The Coast Guard pulled a body out of the water that was doing the dead man's float
by x11198109v0 October 3, 2014
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MY DEAD DOG !

an expression of DOUBT! like saying: are you shitting me ?

there WAS a period where i had to stop saying this because several people i know just had a dog die!
APOLOGIES! to those finding THEMSELVES currently THERE!

it IS an "arty" slogan, and if you don't feel SOMETHING (good OR BAD !) it ISN'T ART !! still, a possibility of inappropriateness DOES exist !
trump: green is PURPLE ! -crazy uncle bwob: MY DEAD DOG !

let's have sixteen more beers!! college 'boy': MY DEAD DOG !

i lorraine "ground the poison out of me" last night! guy: MY DEAD DOG !
by michael foolsley March 30, 2022
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Dead Mans Hand

2 definitions:

1. (as stated by Wikipedia, the best source to fuck with your teachers): a two-pair poker hand consisting of the black aces and black eights. The pair of aces and eights, along with an unknown hole card, were reportedly held by Old West folk hero, lawman, and gunfighter Wild Bill Hickok when he was shot and killed.

2. When an individual has some catastrophic blackmail on someone else but only chooses to use it as a last resort (loosely based off Russia's dead hand (go look that up))
(second definition defined here)

Person 1: Yo, how did Mark get fired? Wasn't he a model employee?

Person 2: Yeah, but he was fucking with the wrong guy for too long, then that guy recorded him saying some of the foulest fucking shit ever, and then he showed their boss.

Person 1: Seems a little excessive.

Person 2: Well, that was his dead mans hand. He tried to resolve the situation by literally any other means, but Mark just keep pushing his luck.

Person 1: Well, I guess that's fair.
by #1 Vance Joy Fan October 14, 2023
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Your Dog Is Dead

It’s Is Better than No You And Your Cat Has Diabetes
Your gay
“No you
Your cat had diabetes
“Well your dog is dead
by SukMehBigPeen April 29, 2019
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my nan is dead

Always told that cunt I hated her life support beeping so I plugged her out to charge my phone.
Roses are red , I got a new bed , I smoked a load of rollies today , my Nan is dead
by DeanoLad June 13, 2020
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