Velcro-beard

When you have a short beard and like velcro it catches onto things like hair, your shirt, and other clothing. It’s usually painful.

I love hugging my son, but he always gets velcro-beard in my hair.

Ouch! I keep getting velcro-beard in my sweater.

by I_caveman August 21, 2019

White Beard

This term is used for people who have spent 9 years or more on the internet, knowing so many things about the internet, one could say they might have created it. Senior programmers also count as White Beards in some cases.

"our Grey Beard has become a White Beard."
"make way for the White beard!"

by The Unintelligent Librarian August 27, 2019

Grey Beard

This term is used for people who have more than 3 years and less than 8 years of experience to be known as a White Beard

"our Brown Beard is now a Grey Beard!"

by The Unintelligent Librarian August 27, 2019

Brown Beard

When someone is new to the internet, roughly from 1 second to 3 years, for them to learn the ropes and how the internet works. After 3 years on the internet, a Brown beard would become a Grey Beard.

..It's usually your grandparents who would fit in this bracket

"We got ourselves a new Brown Beard!"

by The Unintelligent Librarian August 27, 2019

Craft Beard

Adj. The guy who grew a beard to fit in to his NEW friend group of craft beer drinkers & brewers to feel like he belongs.

That guy Matt is talking shit and criticizing a brewer's methods now because he's got a craft beard.

by Thundersnow11 September 18, 2019

Baby Beard

When you shoot your babies all on her chin and it looks like a beard made out of your nut

Director: yea that's it now finish the scene off with giving her a baby beard
Male actor: *turns to director as actress gets on her knees* a what?
Actress: don't think too hard about it just aim for my chin

by Daddy's Patties November 24, 2019

eye-beam

A structural/support-column of varying size --- i.e., ranging anywhere from a simple length of 1X3 strapping all the way up to a bleepin' GIANT SEQUOIA trunk, depending on how big a hypocrite someone is --- located in the orbital-cavity of many humans, particularly sniffy-arrogant tongue-cluckers and overly-critical finger-waggers who squintingly notice minute specks of sawdust in other people's eyes.

It should be unnecessary to actually purchase much if any framing-lumber to build a new church; one initially only needs to invite large numbers of people to come to an outdoor service in a vacant lot, and then just cast out all their eye-beams and stack them up in a huge pile at once side of the lot... as we all know, the bulk of church-attendees are major hypocrites, anyway, and so there should be no shortage of 2X4 studs, 4X4 posts, floor-truss members, railroad-ties, etc. Extra points if you also ask each member of said congregation to bring a handful of nails; you should then be able to start construction immediately! And don't fret that said holy sanctum is being fabricated from sinful materials --- it's common knowledge that most churches were "built on hypocrisy" anyway, so you should be all good.

by QuacksO October 19, 2019