Playing turtle

When you are sitting on a toilet taking a shit, and the piece of shit keeps peeking its head out slightly, and going back in to the asshole despite many attempts to squeeze with your Life Force, to no avail.

When the turd pokes its head out slightly, and then quickly returns to its home: the asshole, it is said the piece of feces is “playing turtle.”

by Proud Posterior April 27, 2024

putting the turtle back in its shell

When your taking a shit, but half way through, you suck the shit back up into your asshole

I just got done putting the turtle back in its shell

by Ishitoften December 31, 2020

Hairy Turtle

A uncircumcised penis with a large bush.

I hooked up with this guy who totally had a hairy turtle.

by Turtley December 27, 2021

meat turtle

A large penis that is shaped kind of like a turtle head.

I fucked Dave's mom with my meat turtle and she swallowed my turtle jizz!

by Judy's meat turtle May 21, 2021

turtle tennis

Where you rip off your Turtles head and throw it back and forth with a friend.

Why did she want to play turtle tennis last night, it's gross!

by Moist Minge December 10, 2016

turtled

to hide something from someone else.

We had a 1 pet in, 1 pet out rule. No pets. My wife ordered a couple of turtles without telling me and just thought once she brought them home i would be ok with it. She turtled me!

by slogson June 2, 2016

Turtle poaching

When you punch someone who has a small penis in the dick making there head shrivel like a turtle.

Payton: i got turtle poached by some guy yesterday
thomas: omg is yo dick okay i hate turtle poaching

by Arnold mcjagger June 3, 2013