Skip to main content

SAFE SEX TIPS

Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."

Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.

Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.

Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.

When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.

Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"

Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.

You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.

To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.

If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.

Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.
person1: have a look at these SAFE SEX TIPS there mint
person2: (reads it)
person2: cool lol
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 25, 2009
mugGet the SAFE SEX TIPS mug.

Tipsy

First of all, whoever wrote that your body shuts down and you die if your drunk and high at the same time.....you should be slapped.
-Tipsy is when your buzzin from alcohol, but your not hammered yet.
Person one: Yo are you drunk?
Person two: Nah, im just tipsy
by JLB May 2, 2004
mugGet the Tipsy mug.

el tipsy

Last night i went to a bumpin-ass party. I smoked an L, then later on drank sum gin n' juice and got el tipsy.
by phatty goo July 5, 2006
mugGet the el tipsy mug.

ass tips

Ass tips are also know as an alternative for a douche or butt plug.
1. Hey could you grab those ass tips and help me clean out my ass hole.
by Rbomb04 June 14, 2014
mugGet the ass tips mug.

Cosmo Fuck Tips

"Scientific" fuck tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine, directed to morons who confuse muscle spasms with orgasms. Such as:
Before sex, go for a run, which "will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties."
Cook some asparagus, since "it's packed with zinc, a key mineral needed for maintaining erections."
Eat some chocolate — it's caffeinated and so "can jolt the sex drive."
Drink orange juice. "Vitamin C boosts your adrenaline" and "the citrus will jumpstart her arousal system." Just drink it quickly, because she's about to start moaning, and once she does, she'll never stop.
Our sexual life? Awesome!!! We follow scientific Cosmo fuck tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine. You know... sex is just dopamine, androstadienone, phenylethylamine, zinc, and vitamin C.
by rperazag May 6, 2010
mugGet the Cosmo Fuck Tips mug.

Tipsy Teeth

The state when someone has been drinking and their teeth begin to feel strange and numb.
Jim - Ahh man this booze sucks, i'll need about ten glasses to get drunk
Oli - works for me, ive already got tipsy teeth
by Kermit123 May 29, 2009
mugGet the Tipsy Teeth mug.

tipsyfucked

Getting absolutely fucked up, as in drunk.

English version of Crunked
Katy loves getting Tipsyfucked
by Rickyboy1990 March 12, 2010
mugGet the tipsyfucked mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email