Hey Squidward shut the fuck up

I don't know what your problem is, man. I have 30 minutes for lunch and I'm spending them here, alright? There's no one behind me in line; so what if I took an extra 10 seconds to order. Who cares, man. You really are something else, you know that? Y-you lash out at people, and why? Because you hate your job? News flash, ASSHOLE. Everyone hates their job. I work at the grocery store; I have to deal with bullshit all the time too. But I don't act like a sarcastic prick with customers. You know, Squidward, this town does not like you, and it's not because you're some kind of misunderstood artist, or-or genius, or we just don't get you, it's because you're mean. Alright? Look at Spongebob. He works in front of a hot grill all day, but we all like him, and you know why? Because he's NICE. He says HELLO to us. Look man, I don't wanna be this type of customer, you know, I-I don't like to start fights with folks, but like, y-you can't do that, alright? And I'm not gonna call out Mr. Krabs or anything, I-I just wanna get my food and go. Please learn from this. Alright? Thank you.

What can I get you TODAY sir?
Hey Squidward shut the fuck up.

by This guy man... March 21, 2025

Squidward

A half chub that male gains while playing basketball.

Hey Mark, sweet Squidward you got going on, hope it helps with your free throws.

by RaptorCouch November 2, 2019

Squidward

When a man drapes his penis over a person's nose with their balls resting in the persons eye sockets; giving the illusion of a "Squidward nose"

I was with this chick last night and I did the squidward on her face!

by B0d0zer June 8, 2018

squidward brunt

Sore loser

"Stop being such a squidward brunt, get over it!"

by Longlivedobby November 27, 2016

Squidward

Someone who doesn't take their job seriously and has a consistently negative attitude. A Squidward just wants to go home and is contemptuous of anything that may delay that for even a second, or force him to do any work beyond the barest of bare minimums.

The assistant manager at Domino's was kind of a Squidward, but at least he let us take plenty of smoke breaks.

by Sadie Enward August 8, 2025

Pulling a squidward

When so many drugs have been consumed that the participant loses all control of their hands and arms and all movments start resembling a squid.

I think you've had enough Martin you are already pulling a squidward

by STELIO. KONTOS. August 22, 2019

Handsome Squidward

Repeatedly slamming your girls head into a door till there’s a hole in her face big enough to fuck and then when your done you take a picture and post it online to see how handsome they are.

“Bro my girl pissed me off so I gave her a handsome squidward.”
“Show me the pics dude”

by Forbe August 6, 2024