Crumpeteering

The beautiful art of making gas as fuck crumpets

That delicious specimen is a new feat of crumpeteering

by TapshaggerNo1 March 18, 2024

Cleveland Crumpet

The act of having his/her freshly defected feces pushed out halfway and have there cheeks squished together and rubbed, to make a cleveland crumpet

“Kenzy can I have a cleveland crumpet?”
“I had a major stiffy after my cleveland crumpet.”

by ClevelandCrumpeter June 6, 2025

Crumpeting

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.

Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.

by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023

Crumpet Bumper

A person who prefers to engage in sexual activities with an older woman

"Cory really seems to be into older women"
"Ya, he's a real crumpet bumper"

by AnAverageNormalEveryDayGuy March 20, 2024

Crumpet

Word to describe/classify your stereotypical British fucks, who are incredibly annoying, narcissistic, and like to kiss ass. They're the type of people to eat incredibly flavorless food like un-buttered stale crumpets or scones that just tastes like flour, living up to the stereotype that white people have flavorless food. They also use incredibly annoying vocabulary and like to pick on other people a lot. A disgrace to the entire British nation.

Example:

A: Hey did hear what Elizabeth said in class?
B: I know she's such a fucking scone.

Or..

A: THIS FUCKING CRUMPET KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE
B: I have a fair share of scones in my class too don't worry about it...

by greasy krispey and sexy May 24, 2018

crumpet burner

Someone who makes it their main purpose to ruin the fun for everyone else.

Look at that crumpet burner pop that kids balloon

by Toshir0z January 12, 2015

Humpin' the crumpet

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'

Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your mom - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.

by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018