Christianese 

A manner of speaking within the American Christian subculture in which the speaker cloaks the words being said under the feign visage of 'love', but in reality, is saying it for the sole purpose of hurting you.

Christianese: "I really feel that God is telling me to say this to you..."

Translation: "I am going to hurt you now... in Jesus's name, Amen."

Christianese by golgotha August 15, 2012

christianity 

Christianity is a monotheisic religion that originated from Judaism. There are many denomiations of Christianity and every one of them is different. You have the up-tight Baptists, The guilt-ridden Catholics, the laid-back Methodists, and the very loose Episcopals (my denomiation). It is pretty ignorant to say that all Christians are close-minded and/or hateful. This is untrue for true christians are accepting and try to be loving like Christ.

Examples of the denominations of christianity:

Baptist Prayer-"Lord Almighty, I have sinned badly and please spare me from eternal damnation!"

Catholic Prayer-"Our Mother of Perpetual Sorrow, I am a terrible sinful person, I know i deserve to burn for stealing my neighbor's garden gnome, Please Forgive Me!"

Methodist Prayer-"Well, Let's see here, I sinned pretty bad so how about we just forget about it and star off new."

Episcopal Prayer-"Oh yeah, I'm sorry i passed out on the street after winning the tequila contest. Also, I think I should add a MY BAD for punching George in my drunken rage but George was annoying the hell out of me"

christianity by Jadali April 26, 2008

Christianity 

Popular to contrary belief, christianity is not a religion, rather a relationship. Many people like to harass christians and the belief itself, but usually its the people who are to ignorant to think that maybe humans didn't just explode into existence out of nothing.

Its based around the principle that God sent his PERFECT son Jesus (which there are 3 entities of the one God: God the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit) to die for the world which is sinful. The idea is that you have free will, so you choose if you want God in your life.

Masses of people think that Christianity caused all these wars and man-made chaotic genocides, but most of the time, Muslims have had done most of the dirty work.

The free will part is what makes the most sense because you don't HAVE to become a christian, its a choice and no one has anything to lose. God is all love, and everything happens for a reason, pain and suffering only build your character.

God Bless you all! he loves you, you know... christianity is a choice. But for some reason people of the past give it a bad reputation. I know that its been FRAMED!

Christianity by Jerry bombiddly August 6, 2011

Christianity 

A religion that caused the crusades, the age of scientific oppression, homophobia, creationism and plenty of genocides.
The bible contains some rediculous rules:
1. You can't be gay
2. You can't have long hair
3. A woman must serve her husband (i.e a woman is inferior to a man)
4. A woman can't lead
5. Loads more

It's a religion based on fear. Disobey it and you go to hell. It also created creationism, the theory of Noah's ark, both of which have been disproven time and time again yet there's so many idiots following it that they cling to their rediculous beliefs. And it fails to mention that homosexuality is genetic and not a choice.

Don't get me wrong, most Christians are good people but the religion is deeply flawed.

Redneck: Stupid fags ur goin to hell! Follow God or go to hell! Don't vote for Hillary or go to hell! Cut your hair or go to hell! Believe in creationism or go to hell! Follow Christianity or go to hell! Now let's go kill some fuckin' queers and lynch a nigga before we go and blow up the abortion clynic!

Good Christian: 1. Thou shalt not swear 2. Thou shall not kill 3. Respect and love your neighbour

Redneck: (struggles not to shout out he is just a violent ignorant person who needs to vent out his natural anger at everything) Err...Ermmm...Fuck u ur goin ta hayelll!!!

Christianity by Fat Fee June 24, 2010

Christianity 

The belief that a cosmic jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you systematically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat a magic apple.

Christianity is crazier than the people who practice it.

Christianity by Mr. Barker October 27, 2007

Christianese 

Words used by Christians that the unsaved masses are unlikely to understand. Christian buzzwords.

"Father God, you are omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Thank you for saving me by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, the Savior of mankind" would be a prayer, dreadfully overdosing on Christianese

Christianese by M.C. Chicken December 1, 2009

Contextual Christianity 

The act of a Christian choosing which parts of the Bible to believe and honor while disregarding other passages.

Contextual Christianity has been the forefront of California's Yes on 8 campaign to prevent gay marriage. While the Bible considers same sex relationships unacceptable, it also asks for people to love and accept each other.

Contextual Christianity by tcullum1995 February 9, 2010