Turd Popsicle 

A much better and more realistic name for the tyrannical "paramount leader" of China Xi Jinping, responsible for allowing Covid-19 to spread all over the world, all because he hates being called Winnie the Pooh. He is known for censoring everything he and his government doesn't like, ranging from TV series, videogames, websites, music, and so on, for opressing Hong Kong, Taiwan, and the Uyghurs, for disappearing people who criticize him, among many other bad things. i.redd.it/mp1fy8603os41.jpg

Damnit, I didn't know the CCP was being run by a Turd Popsicle.

Turd Popsicle by fuckdaccp April 14, 2020

turd herd 

A supporter of a famous bed popper. Thinks they understand DV but got mixed up with NBPD, and now all of their ups are down and downs are up.

When the defendant left the courtroom there was only one guy there to represent the turd herd. His name was Poo.

turd herd by Glittering Gigi January 16, 2023

turd chewer

One that chews poo. Could be a poofer, a gay or someone that just loves to eat poo.

This guy is a turd chewer!

turd chewer by Aleman2 December 29, 2009

turd of misery 

1)A turd that causes severe pain during it's exit. One may even think that it is coming out sideways it is so painful.
2)A person that lives to cause problems for other people. They get off on causing misery for other people, especially their supervisors. A turd of misery is despised by most people around them.

1)Doo#1: You were in the bathroom for quite awhile...and why are you sweating?
Doo#2: Man, I had a turd of Misery. It was brutal.

2)Larry is such a turd of misery...someone should kick his ass.

turd of misery by Doodadoo May 23, 2007

turd polish

to spin, embellish, spin, puff, enhance, enrich, exaggerate, gild and generally lie like a motherfucker about something to make it seem better and more desirable than it really is

you: "man, you should have seen the girl I fucked last night. she was smokin' hot and craving my johnson juice."
me: "what a load of turd polish asswipe. I did see her. what a toothless skank whore."
you: "well, you can't have everything."
me: "well, i guess it is better than nothing. what's her number?"

Conventional Wisdom:
"you can polish a turd, but it's still a piece of shit."

turd polish by spiderbesideher September 24, 2009

turd in the punch bowl 

n. A person who spoils a pleasant social situation.

This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.

The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.

The turd in the punch bowl was Brian, who had to go rat out our awesome senior prank idea to the principal.

turd in the punch bowl by Carl Willis March 2, 2011

turd polishing 

The act of trying to make something hopelessly weak and unattractive appear strong and appealing. An impossible process that usually results in a larger, uglier turd.

She tried to look more attractive by getting plastic surgery, but let's face it, you can't polish a turd.

turd polishing by ktrane March 3, 2004