helmet merchant

a being who transcends the definition of being 'a helmet'

Player 1: "Watch this!"
*Player 1 teamkills Player 2*
Player 2: "Proper helmet merchant you mate"

by TeevReqq May 22, 2023

After Tea Merchant

Hen

Lads: hen? Are you coming online?
Hen: after my tea
Lads: hen you’re such an “after tea merchant”

by Geezer62364 January 11, 2021

Penalty merchant

The definition of a penalty merchant is Manchester United

Man United are such penalty merchants

by Jack furey March 2, 2021

Kayak merchant

An un-healthy attraction to kayaks, kayak merchants can often be found in opaque rivers touching themselves inappropriatly in front of other kayakers, also found to be wacking off over kayaks

'Look at that dirty kayak merchant over there, the disgusting chode merchant ginger pheasant raper'

by Price & Sam December 3, 2009

Happiness merchant

The person who supplies all the nitrous oxide at the party.

*Condent hands Alex a balloon of nos*
*Alex consumes balloon*
Alex: Yo HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
Condent: OIII I'm the happiness merchant!!!

by Condent March 17, 2021

pace merchant

when your name is Max Emilian Verstappen and you outdrive a 7 time champ to the title because you're simply that good

- ''Max is the GOAT''
- ''Yeah, agreed, he's a true pace merchant''

by kasperisafraud January 18, 2022

Hype Merchant

A rare breed of a character that raises other human beings buzz levels by a minimum of 6 notches within a 20 metre radius. Also, has the ability to talk about Public Enemy for a solid 37 minutes without breathing but may produce over enthusiastic hand movements/gestures whilst doing so that do have the capacity to offend the weak willed amongst us. Highly likely to pass out in a nightclub around the 2am mark due to consuming too many ales.

A typical quote from a Hype Merchant would be along the following lines...'My buzz levels were off the richter in the warm up, unbelievable scenes...'

by Nottsborough FC January 7, 2013