Spit the custard

"Spitting the custard" is the act of ejaculation.

Similar in usage to "jizzing" and "jizzed".

1: "She was totally asking for it, so I spat the custard on her back"

2: "Leigh loves it when you spit the custard all over her face"

by Invorta November 30, 2010

toffe and custard dognut

A marvelous creation that is usually bought from coopland's when someone is in a good mood.

yum yums toffe danish and a toffe and custard dognut mum must be in a good mood

by bagheadbench July 23, 2020

Rhubarb and custard

The act of sticking a piece of rhubarb into your vagina whilst someone nuts onto it

Me and Jeremy did the rhubarb and custard last night

by Boobmaster January 16, 2022

Crastard

n.

A really crappy bastard.

MATTTY Yooooooooou are a fucking crastard !

by Dave_066 December 3, 2005

custard launcher

What the fuck do you think it means, you wanker? It means your penis.
Custard = your semen.

Man, look at that custard launcher...
I just came and my dick turned into a custard launcher

by ItsAllOgreNow July 26, 2014

albino custard

Jocular euphemism for semen.

Your mom was splendid with the albino custard I had shot in her face last night.

by Dana Tolman August 30, 2005

Captain Custard

A Captain Custard is a term that can be used in any team sport, but was first used in Sunday league football. It is used to describe a player who constantly refuses to bring other team mates into the game by passing them the ball, for them to only go on and lose possession themselves. Also know as a Ball Hog.

Manager (tezza): I don't wana see any Fuckin' Captain Custards today lads, ok?? (Looks at teams Captain Custard) or else Kinch Monsters going to come within 10 yards of ya, an next thing ya know you're in a hospital bed. Good luck lads, oh, and try not to get beat 9-0 again.

by JR!5 July 3, 2014