Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.

"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."

by bighairyotter August 10, 2021

Wank muppet

The sock you use to cover your cock which catches your cum when masturbating.

He is such a wank muppet!

by Christophlambpie August 15, 2023

Wank

A collection of 2 or more pairs of hip or chest waders or hip or chest wader wearers

When all the fishermen got together it was quite a wank of waders

by Docksee January 19, 2023

Gang wank

everyone gets in a circle with there left hand on the person to there lefts dick and use your right hand to beat your own meat. You finish into a cup and the last to finish drinks it

what Did you do today?
I had a gang wank with Leo and jack

by Azsw January 2, 2020

shiv wanking

when your edgeing your penis and you feel like your going to nut, but you stop. Then you take out your knife and slice a bit of your penis off so you can edge more.

Jorge loved edgeing, he edged in class, in the principals office, in his mom's bedroom everywhere he went. Jorge felt like he nutted to fast so he decided to start shiv wanking. He sliced a bit of foreskin off his torch to stop him from nutting, then continued, after countless hours, beating his record he nutted with a big smile of his face oh and also on his tip.

by skibbidi_toliet April 17, 2024

Thomas the wank engine

That one friend that’s always honey

Me: have you seen Harry, he’s being a proper Thomas the wank engine today

by The one and only me October 3, 2019

Sack of Wank

A social networking site to rival facebook....aimed at women (or men, we don't want no homophobes here) who are seeking a man with either a) a face like a bag of elbows or b) enough false charm to get you into bed and then not bother with you ever again (we are expecting record joinings) better than facebook and without the stupid status updates!!! For women who think charm is a brick wrapped in a brick (tm Roo)

Krystal "I joined Sack of Wank looking for an ugly mutt to take to hockey and they have Jesse Boulerice!!!!"

Luanne "get stamped on!!!"

or.....

Chantelle-Chanelle "Why do men always treat me like an idiot?"

Courtney "because you are an idiot Chantelle-Chanelle (and I think your mother hated you) but why not join Sack of Wank, they have loads of grade A wanksacking arseholes on there and this week they have a special offer, free Sack of Wank with every account opened" deep voice says.....terms and conditions apply

by Bertuzzi's Bitch and the Roo September 21, 2009