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Shit Dildo

backstory..

me and my gf were layin in bed the other day telling each other our deepest secrets. We were getting into some serious shit when she tells me that she trusts me with a weird ass secret she has. She's never told anyone before..

She says she likes to hold a poop in for 3 or 4 days and let it slide out and suck it back in and she says it feels so good she just naturally does it.

Now i was thinking what you are thinking, great another troll/joke.

Boys... I wish this were a joke.

She said she can prove and it showed me right there. Oddly enough I felt closer to her knowing this shit.

Obviously I was curious to try this shit (no pun intended) after a few weeks I could shitdildo with the best of them.

I show my girlfriend and shes impressed/amused/grossed out.

Fast foward to yesterday. My gf family came down to stay with us cause their house is being renovated. They bring their two shit kids (11 and 13)

I was cleaning up after dinner one night and the kids were running around.

At this point I was holding in a huge shit dildo for later.

one of the asshole kids thought it would be a funny idea to pull my shorts down (wasn't wearing boxers)

Naturally I was scared cause he screamed when he did it so half of a turd fell out of my asshole and my bodies natural reflexes at this point was to suck it back in.

I shit dildoed myself. Her dad was trying not to puke and her mom wont even look at me.

TLDR: I shitdildoed myself in front of my future in laws
I shit dildo myself by holding it in my anus for a few days to slid it in and out of my anus for pleasure.
by MrRobotHF April 18, 2018
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Cool Shit

Some item, event or form of entertainment that is particularly interesting. More so than anything else one has ever seen.
Oh man, that was some cool shit!
by Cam M. December 30, 2007
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dank shit

1. Good weed
2. Highly potent weed (chronic)
3. Good stuff (usually referring to weed)
4. Something awesome to the maxx
1. That is my favorite dank shit man.
2. Aw I hit that dank shit and I was gone.
3. Wow that's some dank shit right there.
4. Wow this store has some dank shit!
by SxktnKandi October 29, 2005
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fuck that shit

I was getting really frustrated with my homework so I said "fuck that shit."
by Isi Oamen June 16, 2004
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shit nigger

That guy smells like unwashed ass, Yea looks like a Shit Nigger to me.
by crazymofoo August 20, 2006
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Jalapeno Shit

A giant ass form of shit you take when eating more then at least 5 jalapenos or other spicy foods. You know those long red pepper things found in Kung Pau Chicken at panda express? These are the leading causes of Jalapeno Shits.

Not to be confused with Explosive diarrhea. This does burn like hell when it drops down your ass but it doesn't leave burn marks or parts of your ass missing.
Sorry, I can't see 2012 with you. I have a bad case of Jalapeno Shit. Maybe in 4 days when I recover?
by Shit master 58 November 30, 2009
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Shit Dust

The remaining feces sprinkles on the bottom of the bowl after the toilet is flushed from taking a dump
Hey Scott you left shit dust again!
by ScooterPants December 20, 2009
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