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How Christians Read the Bible

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.
Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."
by Hym Iam June 14, 2024
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Christian Siren

A female who is extremely attractive, but also very religious. Wears a purity ring , but claims she's sexually frustrated . Lures men into a relationship only to convert them into fellow Bible Thumpers . Will always talk to you about religion in hopes of making you more religious/convert to Christianity. She will do things like make out and maybe an OTPHJ .
Stan: "Bro did you see that new chick Janet, she's fucking hot as shit, I'm gonna try to get at that !"

Lee: "Nah dude, bad idea"

Stan: "Why? She's a total 10"
Lee: " Dude, that chick is a Christian Siren"
Stan: "Oh, Fuck That"
by Dr.Vadgers September 20, 2015
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Christian

Legendary, awesome person. Cool, funny, attractive, nice, smart, fast, strong. Its the definition of a perfect person.
"I met the perfect man!"

"Christian?"

"Of course! Who else?!"

"You are blessed
by 1 inch punisher January 19, 2017
mugGet the Christianmug.

Christian

Christian is the name of a vey sweet boy who at first appears gentle and loving. He will make you feel loved and seen, even the parts you didn't want to be seen. His love comes off as so genuine you open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable to Christian, but later rather than sooner, he betrays, lies, and manipulates you, he hurts you in every emotional way possible and makes you doubt if he ever really loved you at all. The worst thing about Christian is he does not hold himself accountable to any of his actions, but at the same time thinks the world revolves around and his petty nature.
You see that guy over there? Oh yeah, Christian? He resembles a marine creature.
by Azzari February 1, 2022
mugGet the Christianmug.

Christian

This is the guy that everyone knows and likes yet he doesn't know it. He catches all the girl's attention, he makes heads turn when he walks into the room. He always has his Samsung wireless earbuds in no matter what situation. His mom works at roots so he always has the latest models and their iconic sweatpants. He has an older sister. Christian is usually a good student but the moment he forgets the homework the teacher comes around to see if it's done. He also has a blue or black water bottle.
"I like Christian," said Skye
"oh cool you should tell him"
by pop off kween November 13, 2020
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christian

when somebody gay, there name is probably christian!
by harimlolololol123 December 22, 2024
mugGet the christianmug.

Catholic Christianity

Use to describe only the best types of Catholics
The almighty Catholic Christianity is better then all you guys combined
by The Almighty Catholic October 18, 2021
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