Hood Wood

A man that likes having multiple baby mommas that is from the hood.

“Dude, your such a Hood Wood.”

by SkurtSkurtbish June 5, 2023

After-wood

Lasting results after an especially good genital mashing

I still can't go back into public yet, I've still got after-wood

by Aroughvasectomy May 8, 2018

wood knocking

An action of hard rubbing to keep your wood empty and fulfilled

Man1: mate why couldn’t you call last night
Man2: sorry mate I was wood knocking

by Ogwoodknocker December 13, 2018

Grounding wood

Grounding wood; when you miss the flying wood so much you become the opposite of flying and are now grounded. Grounding wood can appear when you are in immediate need of The flying wood back in your life

Person 1: “I just him so much and I feel so horrible about it and I don’t know why.”
Person 2 “you probably have grounding wood”

by Yanni734 January 16, 2023

jack woods

A taller version of jack Widman

Jack woods is a very tall wood

by YeetBomber101 May 29, 2019

Faga-woods

Asian male homosexual.

That faga-woods has a fine ass.

by Latin homosexual April 11, 2019

Wood

Yeah, this is going to be dope. I might do like a Samson one next.

*WHCH!*

Jesus "Ow."

*WHCH!*

Jesus "Ow. "

Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."

Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."

Guard "Go!"

Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."

*Crowd clamoring in the background*

Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"

Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"

Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"

Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"

Guard "You there! What's your name?"

Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."

Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."

Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"

*Lifts wood*

Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."

Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."

Jesus "I think so. Yeah."

Father *exasperated sigh*

Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."

Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."

Jesus "Heheheh."

Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"

Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"

Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."

Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."

Father "From what!?"

Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."

Guard "Alright. Move along."

Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤

Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."

*Hammering noises*

Jesus "Ow."

Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*

Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."

Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"

Jesus "Ok."

Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"

Jesus "Ok."

Crow *Lands next to Gestas*

Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"

Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."

Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."

by Hym Iam August 11, 2023