turtle

A more subtle name for herpes. The name of someone who studies turtles is a herpetologists. Therefore, herpe- in the name relates to a more subtle way to talk about herpes.

Seth: Dude, my condom broke while I was fucking Sarah.
Alex: Bro!! She's got the turtle!!
Seth: Oh Fuck!!

by Bassproman November 2, 2015

Turtle

The best pet you can have. Fuck dogs, fuck cats, fuck birds. They are the best. They are small and cute and they live 150 FUCKING YEARS so you dont need to worry about "He died because he was old". I have one called Miss Pauling and she's the best pet I had.

Girl:Do you have a pet?
Boy:Yes
Girl:Wich one?
Boy:A turtle
Girl:I want to suck your penis

by You care about this? May 26, 2018

turtle up

When a pregnant woman falls on her and can not get up.

Dude, did you see that pregnant lady fall? she went turtle up!!!

by bbyeater October 11, 2017

punch the turtle

To attempt something that does have a small chance of success - but will likely end in failure and pain.

Did you hear how Josh and Christel are trying to create new slang? They're trying to punch the turtle with that...

by JBonesMcGee March 30, 2019

hit the turtle on the head

Lowering one’s guard and then striking when least expected.

Robert formed rapport by making himself a clown and then hit the turtle on the head to got the promotion.

by Saravanan599 August 20, 2019

laundry turtle steamship

when your left pinkie finger spontaniusly cobusts

woah that was quite a laundry turtle steamship right??? can i put my balls in yo jaw?

by sargent alphonzo shreddedchees October 4, 2021

Turtle-Necking

A person who is shitting in a public restroom but someone walks in so you have to hold it mid-shit.

My bro was turtle-necking in the school bathroom, but so was his friend.

by Mistress of ALL things shit December 12, 2023