Crack Wank

Similar to a tit wank but instead the ass cheeks are used, with no petentration involved. Penis is vertical between the crack.

I did all the housework today just so my girlfriend would crack wank me

by Everydayimcrackwanking-shuffle May 24, 2011

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Tip-wank

When you get excited at the prospect of taking loads of stuff to the tip (recycling centre/garbage/refuse whatever international equivalent).

Oh my god you know what we should do today?

What?

Tip-wank!

Yes!

by anonymous May 4, 2024

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wanked flat

When you masturbate so much your penis becomes flat

The wanker wanked so much he became wanked flat.

by Dlctionarydotcom January 1, 2015

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Shank Wank

A Shank Wank is where if you are held at knife point by some road men you’d have one last final wank before you’re sent up into the council estate in the sky.

guy 1: Did you hear the news

guy 2 : yeah I did apparently someone was found dead this morning

guy 1 : Yeah he must of totally had a shank wank

guy 2 : totally man

by Broham May 30, 2019

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Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.

"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."

by bighairyotter August 10, 2021

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