English

English is a Northern European language, part of the West-Germanic language family, making it most closely related to German and Dutch, and also related to some Nordic languages like Danish, Swedish, and Norwegian. It is best known for its extremely complicated and inconsistent methods of spelling and pronunciation, often confusing both native and non-native speakers whenever they encounter new words.

Dearest creature in Creation,
Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear.
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it?

Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter, how it's written!)

Made has not the sound of bade,
Say—said, pay—paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
Previous, precious; fuchsia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe,
Hear me say devoid of trickery,
daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

...

(You'll have to look up the rest of the poem, due to the character limit of the Urban Dictionary.

To any ESL readers out there, if you can read this poem out loud, and pronounce every word correctly, your English language skills are better than the majority of native speakers.

by This is my handle okay September 8, 2025

English spag bowl

When you use the intestines as a dildo/flashlight

"YO bro I did a crazy English spag bowl with this girl past night"

by Skibidi toilet camera man September 12, 2025

Englishly

To present a numerical issue in a way that somebody who can speak emglish can understand

You could write this formula algebraically or englishly

by Harvington2025 September 16, 2025

English Pumpernickel Pounder

When you strap down one of your friends, cover him him in beans, sausage, bacon, eggs, black pudding and generally things in a full English breakfast. Then flip him over to pour tea down his anus. Finally, you fist him till he arrives.

"I could go a for an English Pumpernickel Pounder from Corey"

by Arlibarli January 5, 2026

Midnight Engineer

To engineer at night. A person who services people during the lightless hours of the day. A prostitute.

That girl we passed on the bus was rather shapely and walked in a distinctive manner. However, she had the essence of a midnight engineer.

by COMOSELLAMA? March 6, 2010

cybernetically engineered individual

a character in a novel created by the author

Stan carried around the characters from the novel he was writing on a 2-gig memory stick, characters who were always changing and evolving, always, as he was so fond of saying, cybernetically engineered individuals.

by yalebno June 17, 2010

Drama engine

A metaphorical engine that starts when good drama is heard.
Also can be started by a provoking statement. When the engine is started the person will spew random bullshit from their mouth (ex. talking) and start a conversation. Each response from the drama engine will be a drama laced comment; providing no resolution to the conflict but to only exasperate the situation.

(a drama evoking message is sent through facebook chat)
"Dude, don't answer that. that's defiantly going to start her drama engine."

by guess88whooooo April 14, 2010