sperm package

n., derogatory term for someone who thinks with his pelvis, acts in haste AND has really bad aim, resulting in idiotic and embarrassing multiple projectile-based injuries.

meme-derived from boingboing's article about violent sex between giant squid.

While attempting to rob a convenience store, Frank Loz was captured in hi-res on CC camera. His image was put on U-Toob within hours, where police and other viewers were amazed to discover that he had not been smart enough to don a ski mask. But what qualified him as a real sperm package was that he shot himself in the foot _seven times_, while trying to get his handgun out of his pants.

by Veektoastia March 26, 2008

sperm banker

A woman or gay man that cruises the backstage area in search of giving oral gradification to any and all willing and able bodied persons

Don't kiss that one ,she's a sperm banker!

by twistednick December 28, 2009

Spermahol

The thing that spermaholics crave so relentlessly. Spermahol differs from sperm quite radically, as it is consumed in copious amounts and it more often than not extracted from the ball-sacks of five or more human males and/or other male animals.

Jen: My name is Jen Shappapori, and I'm a spermaholic, I can't live without spermahol.

by NOIMNOTGODBUTTHANKSFORASKING July 7, 2010

sperm facial

Sperm Facial, using a man's load of hot semen to tighten your pores.
The act of massaging his semen in a circular motion all over your face.( To be peeled off later, or not?)

Sally," You skin looks so good, what do you use on it?"
Jen," OMG Thanks, Chris gave me a sperm facial last night!!"
Sally," Kat at the office could really use one of those, does it work on you back?
Jen, " Yes just have your BF shoot it anywhere and rub it in"

Nan," Your Mom looks like she is in her 30's, what is her secret?"
Mary," Sperm Facials, she's been getting them from Dad for over 25 years!"

by The only Baby Girl October 9, 2013

spermadicular

As in a particular motion . Erratic but with a purpose

The guy was moving in a spermadicular motion towards the the beer keg.

by little Davey March 19, 2015

sperm swap

This is typically done with three or more people. When a guy cums after having sex, he will typically ejaculate into one person's mouth. After he is done, the person with all the semen will give some to the other person and typically make out with each other so the semen is exchanged.

Male: I'm gonna cum!
Female 1: Cum in my mouth for me! Mmmm, it tastes so good!
Female 2: I want some too! Why not do a sperm swap?

* Exchanges semen *

Female 2: You're right, it does taste good!

by SLAY3R 30 September 7, 2016

Sperm Burden

The result of not pulling out, being too drunk too care, or failed birth control will end up with a personal financial and emotional weight for eighteen years. Usually making it impossible to go and do anything normal adults want to do.

I can't afford to go on vacation because of my sperm burden.

by President McDevitt January 15, 2018