wank

a word used when trying to explain your whereabouts to your parents
"Where are you Kevin?"
"Uh. wank. zlurp. kweep. roger's house. WAAAANK!"
by meepers July 12, 2006
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wank bollocks

oh mate thats totally wank bollocks
by wankbollocks December 07, 2021
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Wank Royal

A wank with a Johnny on. The kind of wank you treat yourself to have, you don't have it everyday because its the 'royal' treatment.
Adapted from the inbetweeners - Neil, if the pressures ever to much you can borrow one of my johnnys and have a wank royal. A what? You know a wank royal, a wank with a johnny on.
by smackmyass July 18, 2013
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wank twist

Someone who twisted their cock.
John: hey you wank twist!
by Johnbread January 03, 2021
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hangover wank

the act of masturbation to over come the ill effects of hangover.
wow, i feel like shit, why did i drink so much!? the only thing that can help me now is a hangover wank!
by jimmykay47 June 05, 2011
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wank blanket

this is often an old shirt or towel which a frustrated bloke beats his meat on to so his milky tears of human love don't stain his favourite aunts mattress
jesus i could do with strangling the one eyed monster!! where's my wank blanket??....yes auntie i'll be down in a minute
by POWER B May 14, 2003
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Wank and Tell

An AO3 tag used in fanfics, often smut, where the author would be flattered to know the reader got off to their work.
That fic had a "Wank and Tell" tag so I left a spicy comment as soon as I washed my hands
by Dethna November 14, 2021
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