an american comedian known for his one-line non sequiturs. he was hilarious and may he rest in peace
I slept at my friends house, and he said "you have to sleep on the floor" i said "Damn gravity...got me again! You don't know how badly i wanted to sleep on the wall!"_ Mitch Hedberg
and
I have a king sized bed. Now i don't know any kings, but I'm sure that if one slept over, he would be comfortable... "Hey I'm a king!" "well you'll never guess what I have in store for you, exactly to your specifications"-Mitch Hedberg
and
You know how people say "i don't care if they're black, white, purple or green!"? ..oh now hold on a minute, you gotta draw the line somewhere...to hell with purple people! unless they're suffocating...theenn help em!-Mitch Hedberg
and
I have a king sized bed. Now i don't know any kings, but I'm sure that if one slept over, he would be comfortable... "Hey I'm a king!" "well you'll never guess what I have in store for you, exactly to your specifications"-Mitch Hedberg
and
You know how people say "i don't care if they're black, white, purple or green!"? ..oh now hold on a minute, you gotta draw the line somewhere...to hell with purple people! unless they're suffocating...theenn help em!-Mitch Hedberg
by teeeaaa May 03, 2006
some of his brilliannce:
i dont have a girlfriend, i just know a girl that will get really mad if i say that.
cucumbers are pickles that sold out.
a woman asked me where i see myself in five years,i said "celebratin the fifth year anniversary, of you askin me that question!"
i dont have a girlfriend, i just know a girl that will get really mad if i say that.
cucumbers are pickles that sold out.
a woman asked me where i see myself in five years,i said "celebratin the fifth year anniversary, of you askin me that question!"
by mitch fan October 02, 2004
When one takes an unnaturally large shit in a public toilet and leaves it for the next guy. The shit may be so massive that the toilet in question may need to be removed.
by Supermannnnnnn November 19, 2008
"I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language."
"If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible..."
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
The Grand Finally
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
"If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible..."
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
The Grand Finally
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
by n333m October 19, 2004
"how many mins has it bin"
"like ten"
"but the recording says 20"
"like 20 mins thats what i said"
"mitch time"
"yup"
"like ten"
"but the recording says 20"
"like 20 mins thats what i said"
"mitch time"
"yup"
by JTREDEYE26 February 13, 2016
Mitchel Hedberg is a comedian. His comedy is unique in that you do not have to see him to understand the joke. Givin this information, it is safe to say that the uniqeness of his comedy has complimented the understanding of his CDs "Strategic grill locations" and "Mitch all together"
Xylophone is spelled with an X. It's like X didn't have enough to do so they had to promise it more. "Okay, you won't start alot of words, but you will have a co-staring role in Tic-Tac-Toe. And you will be aquainted with hugs and kisses. and you will make writing christmas easier. and you will mark the spot. and you will incedentaly start Xylophone. Are you happy now, you fucking X?
by The Kid January 02, 2005
The sequence of head-butting and beating someone unconscious then continuing to beat them. Only complete if you leave without checking any vital signs to confirm they are still alive.
by baguyna November 03, 2010