deadbeating

the act of masturbating while taking the free tour of a porn site without any intention of joining.

randy is on the computer in his room again.
he's going to go bankrupt with all those site he keeps visiting.
don't worry, he's just deadbeating

by candle in the wind October 28, 2010

dead beat dad!

Dead beat dad is someone who has fathered children who does nothing to support them or have any involvement with his children. He is one of the reasons we all pay higher taxes for social welfare progams and why some people will rob, rape or murder you because they had one of these.

Bryan wanted to go on a trip with his new girlfriend because of this he missed his childs bday and skipped his child support payment making him a dead beat dad!

by angelinnwok February 7, 2006

dead beat dad!

A loosly coined phrase in an attempt to cast all blame on the divorce, kids problems, ex white trash...I mean wifes problems, etc. Of course the ex never had anything to do with any of the marriage problems. Was put through school by the "dead beat dad!" and forgot what she ate or wiped her ass with while she was doing it. The phrase is used in place of "your dad" or "your father" when addressing the children. This is an attempt to cast away all blame on "Mom of the year" and cast all misfortune on "The dead beat dad!". Using laws written in the 1920's and 1930's, perfect moms are able to go to court, get a sizable portion of "dead beat dads" paycheck, give him the honor of being able to see his kids every other weekend, or at the last minute when mama's "going out", then re-enforce to the kids with cute little comments like, "Too bad your dad wont spend more time with you", or "I know, I know. Your dad never has any money". This along with many other factors leaves the child with the impression that almighty mom is perfect and dead beat dad, is just that, a dead beat. I mean really, how hard is it to program a 3 year old when you have them 90% of the time and 15 years to work on them. As time progresses, mom of the year usually ends up being 45 years old, looking like hammered dog shit, 6 kids from 3 different dads (all of course are dead beats). She is drunk by 10am on scotch, but thats ok because she has a nice business that she should really incorporate, because all the checks comming in between child support and alimony is a pain in the ass to keep track of. Of course all her problems are associated with the ex's, kids are hooked on drugs, daily gang bangs, and drink like fishes, but hey, they learned from the best huh?! As her tax writeoffs...I mean income producers...I mean kids get older, this is all they know, so the cycle repeats itself. Of course its all the dead beat dads fault, because the "sorry bastard" never spent time with his kids, and if he wanted to see them more he should have fought in court for the right!

Kid#1 Hey pal, why dont you ever talk about your dad?
Kid#2 My mom says he's a dead beat dad! and he only wants to see me every now and then.
Kid#1 It must be right if your mom says so huh?
Kid#2 Yea, must be. He never has any money and lives in a shitty apartment anyway.
Kid#1 Doesnt he drive like 3 hours to get you though?
Kid#2 Yea
Kid#1 Man, I wish my dad would spend 10 minutes with me. By the way, You sure have a lot of cool shit. iPod, PS3, clothes, skateboard, cell phone, and scooter.
Kid#2 Yea, my mom is so cool huh?

by the doner February 12, 2006

dead beat dad!

Dads that need to be beat to death because of not supporting their children emotionally, monetarily, or even being a physical presence in their lives.

Congratulations, you haven't sent money to your son in 16 years. You now qualify as a dead beat dad!

by Unbitter von Liarstein February 13, 2006

Deadbate

A person who neglects their spouses sexual needs because they've already satisfied their own through masturbation.

I came home from work all hot and horny but my wife is such a deadbate and wasn't in the mood.

by psufreak100 October 7, 2011

dead beat step dad

A man who got with a woman who had children to a previous relationship. The previous father is usually a dead beat or absent. He gets the kids to love him and call him dad. Then leaves their mother and decides the kids aren't his problem anymore.

"wow he is a real dead beat step dad, married her, got the kids to love him, he then left and now won't see the kids at all"

by Kindlyfoff April 18, 2020

Ensign Deadmeat

A night of sloppy mediocre sex where the guy drops dead afterwards while still wearing his Star Trek communicator badge toy.

Eddie refuses to wear his communicator to bed, so he doesn't become ensign deadmeat.

by Dorkiest duke February 10, 2017