Safety Squat

When you are tired of cleaning up the mess of masturbating, go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet backwards, lean your phone on the top of the toilet, put on your favorite porn and rub it out, and ejaculate into the back of the toilet leaving a mess and worry free situation

Jayden: I’m getting tired of cleaning up my mess after I beat my meat

Zach: Just use the safety squat method and you don’t have to worry about a mess

by Captainsafetysquatter June 16, 2018

safety screen

Another safe website or program you have open, so that when you are looking at a dirty site or NSFW material you can quickly switch/exit to that window, making you look perfectly innocent. Casually whistle when a person looks at your screen for added effect. Best for people with quick reflexes.

I was looking at porn today, but luckily I tabbed to my safety screen when my boss walked by.

by luckynumberseven January 29, 2008

safety square

A condom: a square packaged device that provides safety during sex

Guy: I want sex but I don't have condoms
Girl: don't worry I got some safety squares

by BlasterHawk October 18, 2017

Safety Mark

A word to describe that you have prepared yourself readily for the event ahead.

Tom and Benny had to go for camp. As they were leaving the house...

Tom: Are you ready to go?

Benny: Obviously.. I have Safety Marked a thousand times just now!

Tom: Ok, lets go!

by SafetyMark November 25, 2009

safety fart

Passing wind, whilst sitting on the toilet in case follow through occurs

Jane didn't trust the vindaloo she had just eaten, would she follow through are not.. a safety fart was the only viable option

by howard1976 June 10, 2014

Safety Third

- Fun first
- Style second
- Safety third

These are the three rules of downhill skateboarding.

- Dude your normal fullface is much safer than that areolid ...
- Safety third, don't fuck up!

by ThaJay236 March 16, 2019

safety dance

The act of masturbating.

Originally coined in a EuroPop song in the 1980's by Men Without Hats. The song includes such phrases as:

"We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind"

"We can go where we want to, a place they will never find"

"Everybody look at your hands"

"As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right"

In a overly-hyped, but dawning era of AIDS in the 1980's, masterbation and abstinence were considered essential safety behaviors - masterbation being the Safety Dance.

A similar song was Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself".

"Where's Steve?", Dana asked.

"Oh, he's probably in the bathroom doing the Safety Dance", replied Dan.

SSS-AAA-FFF-EEE-TTT-YYY SAFETY DANCE!

by Danno456 November 12, 2006