computer

A device that is angry at the world and often lashes out by closing programs your working on, also known as the worlds most abbusive electronic

Exhausted Person: YES! I finally finished my 8456 page paper!
Friend: Yay! now we can eat!
Computer: mwahahahaha!
Exhausted Person: @#$%^&*!!! MY COMPUTER JUST SHUT DOWN.

by The Abbused September 27, 2006

Computer Chair Swap Out

When you have another chair other than the computer chair positioned near your computer. You can use a wooden chair as a cover up by placing drinks on it. And then when nobody is home, you swap out your computer chair with the wooden chair so that you don’t get any jizz stains on the computer chair while jacking off. If you accidently jizz on the wooden chair, it doesn’t leave a stain and you can clean it very easily.

All right! Nobody is home...I’m going to pull off the computer chair swap out and masturbate to some porn.

by Dancing with Fire July 14, 2011

computer monkey

A low-level employee who spends most of his time at work performing menial computer operations

She was working as a computer monkey at a bank

by ppauper May 13, 2005

mac computer

A computer designed for idiots who can't do a simple task such as plug a cable from a device into their computer. People who buy macs think they are releasing themselves of former PC woes(Apple's advertising is built around this), but soon realize that Macs do have problems of their own. Hence the Mac fix it forums website.

Wow, I spent over $3000 on a overpriced piece of shit Mac computer and I can't get it to work!

by MACS spelt backward is SCAM January 13, 2009

computer

a giant box filled with electrical pathways and boards to release secret airborne chemicals to make us addicted to the computer frequency thus causing high electrical bills

wow. look at 10 computers! wow! look at my bill! 45 grand!

by gusto5 April 8, 2004

computer procrastination

the art of ignoring all your pressing and important tasks while playing computer games.

i had three assignments to do in the weekend but i filled up my time with computer procrastination.

by TrIaNgLiSt BoB May 1, 2006

Computer Hangover

A computer hangover is the feeling you get when you've been on the computer or texting or watching a movie or playing video games all day. Depending on the person, it can also occur after a few hours or even thirty minutes. Computer hangovers almost never occur when accompanied by another person, either because of the desire to impress them or because you were engaged in another activity (e.g. talking, thinking, or...) instead of just spacing. The effects of a computer hangover can be achieved as well by spacing for a day, lying on the couch for five hours, but lets see you try that.

SYMPTOMS:
-- headaches
-- slight naseau (depending on the person)
-- dry taste in mouth
-- extreme dislike of sunlight
-- sudden attraction to couch
-- loss of will to do anything other than just lie there
-- hunger or thirst (seeing as to you haven't probably left the couch for a few hours)
-- loss of memory for most of that day
-- empty sleepiness

CURES:
-- a cool shower
-- a glass of cold water
-- more computer (WARNING: temporary! Your computer hangover will get worse afterwards.)
-- time, time time!
-- calling a friend to chat
-- reengaging your mind with something required like homework (WARNING: no media should be involved, or your computer hangover will not be helped at all!)
-- Going outside for a quick run/walk
-- Washing your face with a cold cloth
-- Changing your clothes, brushing your hair, doing new makeup, "freshening up"

A: Dang, I've got one sick comp hangover. geez, this sucks. Can you grab me some water?
B: Sure. Dude, you have such a Computer Hangover. (Brings A a glass of water). So, how 'bout that homework?
A: WHAT?
B: I told you earlier, you have homework.
A: Nooo! I can't think at all right now.
B: You really don't remember?
A: Nothing. Nilch. Nada.

by InsanityisSexy:) June 12, 2011