absolute zero -273.15˚C is the coolest 

a phrase on one of the shirts of an urbandictionary ad.

not funny at all, but a display of no sense in fashion

the chick wearing the shirt that says "absolute zero -273.15˚C is the coolest" has no sense of fashion or humor and has no social skills

absolute zero -273.15˚C is the coolest by T-Bizzcuit April 4, 2010

Absolute G 

Absolute G

Man; you see that guy Graeme.... fed 1000 people from one fish. Absolute G!

Absolute G by CasperG May 29, 2018

absolute mongoloid

A modern slang term for an idiot. Comes from a very rare term for people with disabilities from the 16th century, particularly downs syndrome, which in turn came from a 15th century term for Eskimos and people of near eastern decent. No longer has any racial or disability connotations, but is still derogatory.

"Memes are modern day political cartoons, you absolute mongoloid."

absolute mongoloid by Xython May 13, 2019

Absolute Bitch 

Grace

Grace is an Absolute Bitch

Absolute Bitch by Kevin_ September 4, 2019

Absolute Unit 

Something or Someone with enough charisma or power to make all mortals before him perish and can exterminate all forms of a problem with ease.

Robber: Put the money in the bag or I kill this bitch!
Officer: We need back up! He has a hostage!
Sheriff: Unload sector C-51.
*Massive wall opens up from the ground, releasing AU from his dormant slumber*
*Robbers instantly fall to their knees begging for forgiveness from the Absolute Unit’s spiritual pressure*

Absolute Unit by yeetus that feetus March 30, 2019

Absolute Cringe-Worthy

You

You are Absolute Cringe-Worthy

Absolute Cringe-Worthy by GamerPog May 12, 2022

Absolute Victory 

The highest achievable point if satisfaction known to mankind itself.

Male One: "Dude they sell Mountain Dew here"

Male Two: "Absolute Victory"

Absolute Victory by Iron Swan September 11, 2013