Big Telly Wank

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.

I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.

by sproates April 29, 2021

Cheek wanking

When you pull the skin on your cheeks and let go so it make a weird nose

Person one: stop cheek wanking its weird
Person 2: *does it again*

by Yourdachokedtodeathonmyfatdick April 16, 2020

Protein Wank

When you mix various substances into your semen (doesnt have to be yours). Then drink the sweet nectar you just made.

In the morning i need a pick me up so i make a protein wank

by cosmicgaming September 11, 2016

wank noodle

A term for the male reproductive organ known as a penis.

Jim cried out in pain after he was struck in his wank noodle.

by ThatPurple July 29, 2017

wank-o-tron

A massive wanking machine created by the one and only banterlope. The banterlope is a godly youtuber who makes amazing content and is better then PewDiePie and KSI put together even tough he only has 162 subscribers. He is now loaded as fuck and films his insane content with his Iphone 5s... Fuck yes. You shall bow down to your almighty leader and I don't mean Kim-Jon-Un... I mean the banterlope

That wank-o-tron is an amazing youtuber

by The banterlope January 10, 2017

wank spots

When you’re soo sweaty after a wank ( for going at it too hard) you develop spots on your back

“These wank spots I have are getting on my nerves”

by Midge05 October 3, 2021

Plank Wank

Where you stay as still as a statue but you have a wank

You wouldn’t believe what I just did. I had a plank wank

by Pete-the-pedo July 24, 2025