Englishman

A man who thinks he’s above everyone else due to his country’s rich history(which he had nothing to do with)

9/10 a waste of sperm but sometimes it will produce someone good such as Freddie Mercury, Shakespeare and Gordon Ramsey.

Unfortunately successful civilians rarely popup in a country that is only liked by its own dwellers.

Englishmen are currently confused with Welsh and Scottish men however, you can tell the difference between them with 3 easy facts.

1.Unlike the Welsh and Scottish, Englishman usually smell like fish, cigarettes or diarrhoea, typically having all the scents at different parts of the body.
2. If you ask an Englishman a question, when they answer and open their mouths, look at their teeth. If there seems to be mold growing on their molars, asparagus in between their front teeth and they’re all point in different directions, you have 100% got an English man. Welsh and Scottish generally have much cheaper dental care than the English.
3. If they’re bald, skinny, pale as the rake and don’t have any colour in their eyes, you have found a type of Englishman who makes up around 30-40% of the male population. Examples of this are: Bald Martin, Jack Wiltshire and Phil Foden in about 20 years.

I hope this gives you a brief understanding about the typically aggressive locals of England. Please don’t get them mixed up with their chad counterparts(Wales and Scotland)

Errrrr- he’s got bunny teeth that point in all directions, his breathe smells of cigarettes and poo, him sweat patches smell of sardines. HE MUST BE AN ENGLISHMAN

by anonymous July 19, 2024

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