jesus freak

A title atheists give to anyone who follows Christianity.

Bob: Hi, I'm Bob and I'm a Christian. I believe Jesus died for my sins.

Rick: YOU FUCKING INTOLERANT JESUS FREAK!!! ALL YOU DO IS SHOUT HOW JESUS LOVES YOU!!!

Bob: <walks away>

by david smith, jr. February 10, 2008

Laser Jesus

when somebody says laser jesus they mean a speed control camera. the word itself comes from the ancient sayings that jesus saved a lot of lives. Laser Jesus = a version of jesus that saves lives through laser beams.

GPS: "Laser Jesus coming up in 150 yards, slow down."

by Hakif July 29, 2009

jesus dyke

A swear word similar to jesus christ when used as an exclamation.

jesus dyke, that PBR is cheap!

jesus dyke! i'd love to snuggle up to those tits tonight!

by CruJones February 24, 2006

Jesus Christ

The Supposed Leader Of Christianity But Is Actually Beezlebub In Disguise Satan, and we all know that we can disprove christianity lie but they are mainly disregarded as conspiracy

Jesus Christ the son of god FTW!

by Macca From Yass June 14, 2008

latino jesus

I guy that likes to flirt a shit load and usually gets girls to flirt back......but not in front of their boyfriend.he is amazing at pulling in girls,but People close to him don't think that.side hoes are easy for him, now all he needs is a Maine girl

Latino jesus:hey you got nice tits
Girl1: thanks(;
Jesus:can I touch them .
Girl 1: sure....wait my bf coming get away

by Dhdudifh April 22, 2017

Jesus Connection

When one's internet connection is so good, it hit the Jesus Tier.

Tom is able to host a 20 person server with no lag. He has Jesus Connection

by ZaneKol July 31, 2011

Jesus Train

A nickname for a friend who is somewhat religious(Or at least pretends to be) and you play basketball with. Mainly used at summer bible camps and church leagues. This person is usually a ball hog. His 2 moves are run down the lane, charging in similar to a train. Or throwing it up from half court. This person is a real bummer to even be around.

Josh: "Here he comes again!"
Chris: "He never passes the ball, and gets blocked every time."
Dustin: "I really hate him."
Chris: "Don't invite Jesus Train to play ball ever again."

by Chris Pence May 9, 2011