Santa Claus

The morbidly obese man that breaks into houses every year on December 24th and eats all of the food in your house. If you ever see him in your house, run. Santa Claus will give out presents to kids that he finds attractive and the ugly ones get coal. The presents usually have trackers in them as he handmade them with his children slaves that he kidnapped, also known as “elves”
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.

*kid wakes up*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*

by SteeringWheelFaceReveal June 12, 2023

Pulling a Claus

A western Pennsylvania term. It means to initiate plans for a later date, then not show up or follow through with the plans.

Jim pulled a Claus again on me. That asshole called me and told me he had tickets to the Donnie Iris show for Saturday down at Nick's Fat City. I sat around all night waiting for that asshole to show up. That fucker's always pulling a Claus on me.

by Rick Beggs April 20, 2011

Weapon of Crass Seduction

A contrived event aimed to seduce the citizens of an enemy State through the depoliticised and emotive employment of pop-culture icons launched via the media and social media.

"Look Mum, on the Telly! There's the orphan man Sung-Bong Choi!
He makes me cry. He makes daddy cry. He makes everyone cry. Boo hoo hoo!!!....."

"There, there Timmy. Don't you worry your little self now. It's only a naughty weapon of crass seduction. Everything's going to be just fine."

There, there Timmy. Don't you worry your little self now. It's only a naughty weapon of crass seduction. Everything's going to be just fine.

by Benncm November 30, 2011

Cat's Claws

A black pair of latex gloves with one hard plastic "claw" extending from each digit's tip. Used variously as a kinky sex toy, a method of punishment in bdsm, or merely as a turn on for those who are feline inclined

Jamie drew the Cat's Claws down Steven's back, smiling as she heard him groan in pain.

by ChocAh0L1C July 27, 2012

High Tide..No Clams

A Rhode Island Term Refers To Someone Who's Long Pants Are Too Short. Other States Refer Them As Flood Pants. A Very Light Hearted Joke.

Hey John...High Tide..No Clams.

by Rockymanly August 8, 2018

Give 'em the claps

When a person has done something so ridiculously stupid, that they need to be put back into place.

Josh didn't do his work again, SO Claps WILL GIVE 'EM THE CLAPS

by Clapsham March 5, 2020

Classy Slut

A slut who has tactic and knows the line between a whore and a slut. She may have no pants parties where she wears a shirt as a dress, but she keeps it classy and still leaves things a mystery. She doesn't get pregnant and keeps sexual activities classy by not touching a man's reproductive organs with her hands or mouth. She keeps herself mysterious and lures in men with simple flirting and does not throw herself all over a man and does not act desperate. A classy slut may resemble a woman vampire.

"Jill has the men coming after her, she is such a classy slut, unlike her friend Jackie who is more on the bro hoe side."

"That girl's dress is so skanky!"
"Yeah, she needs to be more like Jill and keep it classy."

by The Classy Slut December 11, 2009