Funny Turtle

When a man's penis goes from being erect to soft very quickly and continuously so it resembles a turtle sticking its head in and out of its shell continuously.

Girl 1: OMG Tina I put my finger in John's butt last night and he got a Funny Turtle!
Girl 2: He should just make up his mind as to whether or not he likes it.

by YAHDOEHADLWA January 07, 2016

Dirty Turtling

Verb: pushing a turd in and out of your börthole, for sexual gratification. The unholy perversion of "turtling"

Don't make eye contact with Bella. She's been dirty turtling in the corner for the better part of an hour

by suninnovember January 02, 2024

flesh turtle

A penis that shrivels up so much that it looks like a turtle hiding in its shell.

It was so cold out that my dick became a flesh turtle.

by FleshTurtle July 16, 2018

turtled up

When a guy gets so cold, his dick draws up inside himself to the point of looking as though he may be uncut, even though he isn't.

Man, it's so damn cold in here I was turtled up and had to pull my dick out of myself just to take a leak.

I think... but it was so damn long I forget, I have a hangover and I'm gonna need chemo.

by dj_nafi November 26, 2014

turtle riding

When the male gets on all fours, and his female sticks a suction cup dildo on his back. Then she proceeds to turtle ride him until climax.

"I miss my ex-girlfriend. My new girlfriend isn't turtle riding me anymore."

by Lol just me dude August 26, 2017

Pinch a turtle

To take a lump of excrement

- "Hey Jeff, wanna get some burgers?"
- "Sure, just let me go pinch a turtle before"
- "you're grose bro"

by turd_muffin November 10, 2017

Wash my turtle

Wash my turtle is used by someone ironically saying that he has a lot of important things to do.

I can't go out today.I have to wash my turtle.

by Fotindigo January 25, 2019