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soccer mom

A blonde middle-aged woman who's spent far too much time at the fake-n'-bake, barely stands five feet tall on her tiptoes, drives an SUV the size of a Sherman tank because she has a female Napoleon complex, and plasters the back of said vehicle with stickers about how her child is a straight A student at <insert here> middle school.
Most of the women driving SUV's around Richmond, VA.
soccer mom by Syd Barrett December 23, 2003
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your mom 

The thing annoying retards say when they think they're cool, or what they say when they don't feel like answering a question (usually followed by a high pitched voice screaming OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
Guy: Duuuuude, hahahahaha, I watched a movie
Guy#2: I watched your MOM

Dude: What'd u have for lunch
Dude#2: YOUR MOM!!!!
Random Dude: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
your mom by Truth Speaker May 1, 2004
Related Words

Ur mom gay 

please don’t use this
Bob:ur mom gay lol
Carl:(goes to Afghan and gets raped by 12 black men then his face melts off only to be slurped up by a homosexual giraffe that got kicked out of the zoo for being gay. Carl walks into Russia only to be put in a Russian version of aucwits is burned alive. Then to be slurped up by the same gay giraffe and the same 12 black men that raped him)

Make Your Mom Do It

Answer to any problem you may encounter in your journey through life.
A: Damn, I got a shitload of homework
B: Make your mom do it.

A: Can you please pick up after yourself?
B: Make your mom do it.

A: We have a shipment of anthrax that needs to be sent to Iraq by tomorrow.
B: Make your mom do it.
Make Your Mom Do It by Tim XYZ November 8, 2003
a mother that is extremely stereotypically asian.

one that would usually do the following
-talk extremely loud on the telephone
-beat their children
-demand high grades
-favour the eldest son
-get into a car crash
-wears traditional chinese robes
-only gives their children money during chinese new years
-will take all fortune cookies seriously
-bargain at the dollar store
-cook aggresively
-mercilessly kill seafood
etc.
wow, gong hei fat choi's mom is such a tiger mom.
tiger mom by skatingjenny January 13, 2011

soccer mom

Homemakers who have a whole shitload of kids because they don't know how to use birth control and instead of working, they spend their weeks and summers shuttling them around in their death trap SUV's to their various activities. They're usually extremely protective when it comes to their kids and try to protect them in every way possible.
I refuse to become a soccer mom. I'm having two kids, total and they'll have one activity each.
soccer mom by Jennifer Strong September 4, 2008

Soccer mom

30-50 year old moms, usually living in the suburbs. They usually have about 2-3 kids, and drive them around everywhere in large ass gas guzzling SUVs with bumper stickers saying "My little fuck of a child is an honor roll student at ____ Middle School". Apparently it's impossible to fit two fucking kids in anything less than a car that seats seven.

They stay at home most of the time, working around the house, hauling their kids everywhere to anything like soccer to fucking astronaut school. Oh, and about their kids: The children of soccer moms are their fucking pride and joy, their "angels". They must have the best grades, be the most popular, be the best at soccer, you name it. The kids must be shielded from anything bad, like the occasional "hell" from that sitcom you watch to sex ed at school. They lack freedom of expression as the moms must not let them be able to do anything exciting in life, because apparently going on the internet turns them in to bad people. Which is funny, because half the time they grow up to be lonely shitholes that die from binge drinking or ODing on drugs. So they are not allowed to watch any TV shows rated over TV-G, can only go on the internet for 30 minutes each week with super parental controls turned on, and cannot play any video games over the rating E, even as teenagers.

Religion: The soccer mom is a hard core christian, and anything that is not 100% christian in any way is considered satanic, like TV shows, and ESPECIALLY music. Yep, they're only allowed to listen to boring country christian music shit.

Soccer moms don't do shit besides destroy the environment, take up space, and raise children totally wrong. Their husbands on the other hand, make $80K a year with some job he's always at, most likely fucking his hot co-worker the whole time.

Fuck soccer moms, they are the scum of this Earth and are a disgrace to the name of freedom and expression.
Soccer mom by wtfwaffles September 15, 2009