Auburn University
Didn't Auburn go 13-0 this year? Yes, and they still finished in second place, what a bunch of idiots.
Auburn University by au sux January 28, 2005
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Auburn University
A "college" located in Southeastern Alabama. Most of the students at Auburn were rejected by the University of Georgia. Students of Auburn are notorious for their subpar intelligence. Auburn students pride themselves with their political correctness and therefore prefer to be called "culturally challenged" rather than "rednecks". When traveling through Auburn do not smile as you may be regarded as someone with "a pretty mouth".
Auburn University by Dr. Dandoi June 20, 2006
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Michigan State University
The bronze medal of Michigan. No matter how you spin it this school is worse than Michigan--the gold Medal of the state. The boys are dumb and act like wiggers. The girls are pretty but very very stupid. These kids wanted to go to Michigan their whole lives, but then they got what us "rodents" never receive--a rejection letter. State students should get used to seeing a lot of these. It is more of a party school--I guess. But it gets old fast when you realize the only thing to do is to drink beer from a red cup at a party where you can't even move. Get used to beer pong, because that is all there is to do there. Michigan on the other hand has, parties, a far better bar scene, and museums. Plus its in Ann Arbor so there is always some cultural event. East Lansing just has the shitty bar known as Rick's. Also the water tastes like crap for some reason. The only advantage to State is that its football and basketball teams are beating ours at the moment. Then again if you think that is a real advantage your a moron. Sports teams go up and down all the time. I hope its a big comfort for you state kids when its time to get my coffee.
Dad on son's day of birth: My son is a Michigan boy all the way. He's going to get a michigan cradle, a Michigan blanket, and a miniature Michigan outfit.
Son at age 16: Oh boy me and my Dad are going up to Michigan today. We've been going to the Big House for the Michigan v Michigan State game ever since I can remember. I can't wait until I finally get to Ann Arbor.
Dad when son is 18: My son screwed around and ruined his future. I have to smile and pretend like I'm so proud he's going to Michigan State University. But to be honest I'm jealous of your son Bob; can you please tell me what it feels like to watch that packet arrive knowing that the last 18 years payed off and that your son is accepted to Michigan?
Son at 19: No man, you don't even understand. I never wanted to go to Michigan; I've been a state man my whole life. You see Michigan kids don't live their life. While they're studying I'm here taking a piss on Sigma Chi's dumpster drinking a beer and living my life. Ya the cops here aren't as cool so i have to hide my beer, and ya the beer isn't free; but the grinding on random girls here is so much better than the grinding at Ann Arbor.
Son at 26: I know I'm going to graduate next year. Besides I can't leave until I lose my virginity. Plus I want our football and basketball to be number one again. Who knew Michigan would get good so fast. Its not as if sports teams get better and worse randomly all the time--oh wait they do.
Son at age 16: Oh boy me and my Dad are going up to Michigan today. We've been going to the Big House for the Michigan v Michigan State game ever since I can remember. I can't wait until I finally get to Ann Arbor.
Dad when son is 18: My son screwed around and ruined his future. I have to smile and pretend like I'm so proud he's going to Michigan State University. But to be honest I'm jealous of your son Bob; can you please tell me what it feels like to watch that packet arrive knowing that the last 18 years payed off and that your son is accepted to Michigan?
Son at 19: No man, you don't even understand. I never wanted to go to Michigan; I've been a state man my whole life. You see Michigan kids don't live their life. While they're studying I'm here taking a piss on Sigma Chi's dumpster drinking a beer and living my life. Ya the cops here aren't as cool so i have to hide my beer, and ya the beer isn't free; but the grinding on random girls here is so much better than the grinding at Ann Arbor.
Son at 26: I know I'm going to graduate next year. Besides I can't leave until I lose my virginity. Plus I want our football and basketball to be number one again. Who knew Michigan would get good so fast. Its not as if sports teams get better and worse randomly all the time--oh wait they do.
Michigan State University by Wolverine_of_Ann_Arbor March 5, 2010
University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics
The place where they care more about paying Ann Williamson over $250,000 a year, cutting retirement funding for their employees, making units work short staffed on a daily basis, and caring more about profit than safety of staff and patients. Then after asking staff to give back earned vacation time and cutting the retirement funding, they find a billing error totaling more than 15 MILLION dollars. But lets not be harsh because they do have the Iowa Cares program where anyone in the state that doesn't want to work like the rest of us, can come for free healthcare where they can have room service, treat the staff like shit, and get all the legal drugs they want on behalf of the taxpayers. Even better, they can complain about the color of the walls, the rooms being too small, having to share a room, parking is too expensive, they couldn't find a cheap hotel, and the hospital should be closer to where they live. I could go on and on but I think you get the idea!
University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics Staffing Department hard at work
Staffing: you need 2 RNs and 1NA so you are not short.
Unit: yes and if we get 2 more admissions, we will require 1 more RN or we will be short staffed.
Staffing: we probably won't have the NA but we will let you know.
Unit: okay let us know, we have x-number patients that require 2-3 people to turn, potty, etc.
1hr later:
Staffing: we can give you the RN's but couldn't get an NA.
unit: okay, what choice do we have
5 minutes later:
(pager going off)
5 admissions in 20min.
Unit calling staffing;
We just got 5 admissions, we need another nurse because now we are running short.
Staffing to Unit:
Sorry but we don't have anyone.
Surprsingly staffing and bedboard share the same office, but staffing had NO IDEA there were all these pending admissions from ETC????
Staffing: you need 2 RNs and 1NA so you are not short.
Unit: yes and if we get 2 more admissions, we will require 1 more RN or we will be short staffed.
Staffing: we probably won't have the NA but we will let you know.
Unit: okay let us know, we have x-number patients that require 2-3 people to turn, potty, etc.
1hr later:
Staffing: we can give you the RN's but couldn't get an NA.
unit: okay, what choice do we have
5 minutes later:
(pager going off)
5 admissions in 20min.
Unit calling staffing;
We just got 5 admissions, we need another nurse because now we are running short.
Staffing to Unit:
Sorry but we don't have anyone.
Surprsingly staffing and bedboard share the same office, but staffing had NO IDEA there were all these pending admissions from ETC????
University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics by pissed off employee September 19, 2010
University of Waterloo
The university of choice for a Canadian degree in Mathematics, Engineering or a Double Honors Degree. Entering average >90% (exceeds 90% for those that attend U of T and cannot understand mathematical symbols). Students who attend the University of Waterloo will graduate with a degree, knowledge and a career. U of T graduates graduate because their daddy bought them the degree. Go to the University of Waterloo if you want to be someone's boss, not a U of T clerk. Even the Warriors football team is better than U of T's.
"I got into the U of T but was not accepted into the University of Waterloo."
U of T student to U of W student: "Transcendentals? I made out with one accidentally at the bar once, I was wasted."
U of T student to U of W student: "Transcendentals? I made out with one accidentally at the bar once, I was wasted."
University of Waterloo by Zeno's Paradox's October 27, 2009
Towson University
Not a well known school located outside of Baltimore Maryland. Known for being a huge bar school so a fake id is a must. huge Jersey, New York and Rhode Island population. 60 to 40 girl to guy ratio. Hottest girls in the world. watch out for TKE
MD girls are pretty, Loyola girls are smart, but it takes a Towson girl, to win a guy's heart. UMBC girls can't dance, Goucher girls can't flow, and when you want the best-looking girl, Towson is where you go. Salisbury girls are wild, IUP girls are fun, but when it comes to drinking, Towson girls are #1. Girls will be girls north, south, east & west, but a Towson girl will always rate the very best! So any guy who reads this truly has to know, if you have a Towson girl, don't ever let her go!
Go Towson University
Go Towson University
Towson University by TUgirl April 22, 2010