There are many kinds of hipster ass thorns: the vegetarian, the vegan, the juice cleanse, the diet, the peanut allergy (I KNOW ITS NOT A CHOICE BUT SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY I DONT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT IT GOD YOURE WORSE THAN THE LACTOSE INTOLERANT GUY!)
However, the gluten douche is arguably the most prominent of the bunch. The gluten douche likes to bombard you with excuse me does this have gluten? Or just asking what’s in something even though gluten douche knows damn well that isn’t gluten free they just want you to list all the things in it so they can interject and tell you how fat and unhealthy you are for even breathing near gluten
However, the gluten douche is arguably the most prominent of the bunch. The gluten douche likes to bombard you with excuse me does this have gluten? Or just asking what’s in something even though gluten douche knows damn well that isn’t gluten free they just want you to list all the things in it so they can interject and tell you how fat and unhealthy you are for even breathing near gluten
Guy 1: “Oh god it’s the gluten douche.”
Guy 2: “ I swear to god if he asks about gluten one more time I’m gonna shove this ‘gluten packed high calorie’ pizza crust down his throat.”
Guy 1: “It’s like we get it you’re healthy shut up!”
Guy 2: “Right?”
Gluten douche: “excuse me, but is that gluten free?”
Guy 1: “you don’t like the crusts right?”
Guy 2: “ I swear to god if he asks about gluten one more time I’m gonna shove this ‘gluten packed high calorie’ pizza crust down his throat.”
Guy 1: “It’s like we get it you’re healthy shut up!”
Guy 2: “Right?”
Gluten douche: “excuse me, but is that gluten free?”
Guy 1: “you don’t like the crusts right?”
by I knew the whole time June 26, 2018
Get the Gluten douchemug. River douche: A person who may or may not live at home with his/her parents, may or may not pay any bills, doesn't have a significant other or children. Spends more money on fishing gear/tackle then he makes.
Fishes his $1200.00 Lamiglass Center pin set up and releases his fish when people are watching, otherwise he is flossing with his ugly stick at the tubes and blowing up small rivers and streams on FB. This "River Douche" also loves to do "how to" videos and tells everyone else in the world how they should fish and/or how they should release them. If you are not running the "River Douche's" favorite, Rod manufacture, Reel Manufacture or Bead Manufactures products, you are much lower than him and you will not catch fish. He and his "posse" do videos, with or without drones, on the rivers and blow great, once unknown, fishing spots up on FB so more "River Douche's" can fish there without putting in the leg work and destroying the fishery with 25 people fishing a 15ft hole.
Also might be a closet homosexual. Probably drives a red truck and is known to be a great dishwasher.
Fishes his $1200.00 Lamiglass Center pin set up and releases his fish when people are watching, otherwise he is flossing with his ugly stick at the tubes and blowing up small rivers and streams on FB. This "River Douche" also loves to do "how to" videos and tells everyone else in the world how they should fish and/or how they should release them. If you are not running the "River Douche's" favorite, Rod manufacture, Reel Manufacture or Bead Manufactures products, you are much lower than him and you will not catch fish. He and his "posse" do videos, with or without drones, on the rivers and blow great, once unknown, fishing spots up on FB so more "River Douche's" can fish there without putting in the leg work and destroying the fishery with 25 people fishing a 15ft hole.
Also might be a closet homosexual. Probably drives a red truck and is known to be a great dishwasher.
Hey John, did you see that River Douche blow up, said river on FB? He was so proud of that 7lb steelhead that he had to take a photo and not hide the background. He is quite the River Douche.
by Reel Truth October 9, 2019
Get the river douchemug. by Douche nozzle 1234 September 28, 2018
Get the Douche nozzlemug. The actions of a complete arsehole.
by Dr Womble September 13, 2017
Get the douche manoeuvremug. (Noun) Also known as a Rotherham Rinse.
A post-ejaculatory contraceptive douche carried out by the male whilst still inside the female vagina. Immediately after ejaculation inside his lady, before withdrawing his still semi-tumescent penis, the gentleman urinates within her, sluicing out his spermy man-milk. Purported to be 80% effective, by someone, somewhere, probably (depending on volume of piss).
A post-ejaculatory contraceptive douche carried out by the male whilst still inside the female vagina. Immediately after ejaculation inside his lady, before withdrawing his still semi-tumescent penis, the gentleman urinates within her, sluicing out his spermy man-milk. Purported to be 80% effective, by someone, somewhere, probably (depending on volume of piss).
Shaniqua couldn’t be bothered with any of the usual contraceptive methods, and neither could Marlon. So right after his vinegar strokes, he did the gentlemanly thing of giving her a Doncaster Douche to sluice out his spooge.
by Tempus Fuggin Fugit May 16, 2021
Get the Doncaster Douchemug. by Ceebus May 17, 2009
Get the Douche Bagmug. A Douche Bag is typically a person that takes selfies in the mirror with their shirts off, while biting their lip. Their bio usually includes something to do with marijuana, and "bitches". They also think they can get any girl, while talking shit on them. If you have any of the
Douche bag #1- Yo you see that bitch right their? Yeah i bet I could fuck her
Everyone else- Yeah haha..ha... you sure? You take selfies in the mirror with your shirt off smoking weed.
Everyone else- Yeah haha..ha... you sure? You take selfies in the mirror with your shirt off smoking weed.
by JakobeThatIsWhite October 14, 2014
Get the Douche Bagmug.