jammy wanker

The true definition of a wanker that thinks he is really cool. He does not have a job and pretends to build houses.

Russell Gunther is a true jammy wanker

by russell gunther November 25, 2014

hobnocking wanker

The literal meaning is: A British person that slaps people with their phallus and jerks off a lot.

Jack is so lame, he is a hobnocking wanker

by Louiemonte09 April 28, 2014

Comfort Wanket

When you are too tired or upset or distracted to sleep without having a wank first.

I was so stressed out last night at bed time I had to use my Comfort Wanket to fall asleep.

by Acerpacer May 8, 2015

hala wanker

Refers to a twat with zero football knowledge, usually a plastic fan and glory hunter who supports Real madrid but isn't even spanish

Whats his opinion on that player ?

doesn't matter, hes a hala wanker

Did you see that insane match between burnley and aston villa ?

Of course not mate i'm a hala wanker

by Coolbeans 1899 July 10, 2015

absolutely wanked

A term used to mean 'drunk' used accidentally as opposed to 'absolutely wankered' when someone is trying to describe their state of drunkness... whilst drunk.

"Ere Billy come up mine tonight pal, yeah?"
"Sos m8 absolutely wanked on pimms ygm lad"

by FuckinBlazeItM8 October 29, 2015

Polish Wanker

When you wank off a polish person.

This kid named Dylan, is a polish Wanker.

by ChildishPg April 13, 2016

wallet wanker

Wallet wanker- a rich Jewish person known for bieng rich and bragging about it.

"You know that Howard kid he's such a wallet wanker"

by TheHammockMan July 4, 2016