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Angry father

When a father catches his daughter having sex outside in a cementary, he takes a shovel and thrusts it in the back of the guys head killing the guy. Blood drips on the females titties and is then ordered to go home immediately and take care of her brother.
"This guy I was dating got angry fathered last weekend. I didn't even get to fully enjoy it."
by Jorfy February 9, 2014
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how's your father

According to Michael Kelly, a writer and historian in New Zealand, "the origin of the expression 'how's your father' can be traced back to Victorian times. In those days any man with a daughter was so protective of her virtue that he would take extraordinary measures to safeguard it. Unmarried girls would be kept within the bosom of their family as much as possible, chaperoned on excursions, and on those occasions when they were let out of bounds for social events, their fathers would often accompany them discreetly by hiding underneath their voluminous skirts ready to pounce on any man who transgressed the bounds of propriety.

However, a father with more than one daughter couldn't be everywhere at once. Thus, a suitor having a discreet vis-a-vis with his beloved would cautiously ascertain her father's whereabouts by asking, 'And how is your father?' If her father was currently under her skirts, she would glance downwards and reply, 'My father is very well, thank you, and as alert and vigorous as ever, and maintains his interest in rusty castrating implements.' Her beau would then say, 'I have always had the greatest respect for your father, and of course for you. Let us hold hands and think about the Queen for a while.' If, on the other hand, her father was elsewhere, she would reply, 'The mad old bastard is currently stationed between my sister Constance's thighs. Let us go into the garden and rut like stoats.'

Hence, 'How's your father' became a euphemism for you-know-what."
by BethBracken November 12, 2007
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father

The guy who criticizes everything you ever do, never admits he's wrong in front of you, the guy who ejaculated into your mom, the human bank machine, the only straight guy who ever cares for you but never admits it
me: can i drive today
dad:no
me:oh come on
dad:if we die itz your fault

me:i got my ass kicked at school today
dad:you loser
me:they stole my lunch money too
dad:man you're the biggest mistake i ever made
me:...
dad:come on son lets go and hurt does guys then lets go to a buffet
by shitastic October 9, 2004
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Not a father's day

A holiday for all non-fathers around the world to celebrate being not a father. To celebrate that moment of happiness when your one-night stand says, "I'm not pregnant!"
First Lady: I'm not pregnant!
President: YES, I declare today NOT A FATHER'S DAY! Hooray!!!
by Blackflame619 January 13, 2009
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Father of the Brine

A three-day salt rub for a turkey
Bob Belcher uses the Father of the Brine for his Thanksgiving turkeys.
by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 20, 2018
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puppy father

A male convict, usually a “lifer,” who selflessly takes it upon himself to educate the first-time prisoner about all of the new things he’ll need to know to keep himself out of trouble.
Yup, I’m a damn good puppy father; I’m definitely doing something right this time around!
by Dr Bunnygirl October 18, 2019
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Where every shordy is covered, and every mandem is wasting his sweetness. Ball kicks with jeans is habit, and the principle is a joke. The 129 at 2:45 is neva a motive, and the gas station only lows two mandems in. Everyother man in the school cuts hair.
Person 1: Good Morning staff & students of Father Michael McGivney Catholic Academy

Whole Class: ( trying not to laugh )
by swaggggyyyyy January 13, 2019
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