calm your mom

an expression basically saying to "calm down" but in a more jokingly insulting manner, including the phrase "your mom". If someone says something really dramatically, that you can say "your mom" to, you can basically say "calm your mom".

Girl: "OMG that spider is UGLY."
Me: "Dude, CALM YOUR MOM."

by calmyourmom101 January 20, 2013

Calm your goats

To tell a person to calm down or to relax.

Jeff said calm your goats to Martha when she was starting to get mad.

by Toeatcake May 21, 2019

calm your spirit

Nicest way to tell your gf/bf to shut the FUCK up.

Derrick always tells Esther to calm your spirit when she won't leave things alone. Wes

by Mz.Wonderful February 11, 2018

calm yo grits

A hermit crab version of calm yo tits
Used by protective parents. Some kids never grow out of it.

Person1: I hate you!
Person2: Whoa! Calm yo grits.
Person1: Wth does that mean!?
Person2: Calm down, my mom said it was a common saying...

by Parkderp1 October 9, 2016

Calm the farm turbo

What you say to someone who is "carrying on like a pork chop"...meant to diffuse a situation where somebody is vociferous about a subject to the point of resembling a farm vehicle equipped with turbo doing "circle work" in the paddock.

Bloody this, this bloody that, the world's against me, I'm about to "go postal" and the next person who looks at me sideways is gonna cop a "Liverpool kiss"

...."calm the farm turbo mate", go have a lie down and "she'll be apples" in the morning ;)

by The Gavinator March 10, 2022

Calm your tits

Something you say when your girl is getting a little too excited/anxious/nervous/etc.

Variation of "Smooth your boobs" "give your chest a rest" "adjust your bust before you combust" "hakuna yo tatas".

Mindy: I can't believe you were flirting with Cindy! We're DATING Tom! Where is your LOYALTY?! How am I supposed to raise our unborn child?!
Tom: Wait... We have a child?
Mindy: That's besides the point. WHY WERE YOU LEADING HER TOWARDS THE BEDROOM?! IN MY OWN HOUSE?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!
Tom: Calm your tits, Mindy, Cindy's my cousin. Besides, you've banged Cindy, Sandy, Quinn, and Nate before.
Mindy: *walks away muttering* Well, so have you...

by Sexy Stripper Queen March 27, 2017

calm your sack

the "calm down" of horniness.

can be applicable to ladies aswell.

guy: oh man i want you so bad

girl: woah woah there, calm your sack these legs ain't open for no one except my boyfriend!

by The Calm yo Sack Man November 16, 2011