An untimely and spontaneous erection of the male penis that occurs in a church, usually while sitting in the pew listening to a boring Protestant Christian sermon.
"I popped church wood this morning and had to cover my dick with the Bible when we stood up for prayer."
by kgacho November 5, 2009
Get the church woodmug. Parents who ruin your life on a weekly basis by signing you up for or taking you to crap you don't want. This includes them buying tickets to events you don't care about and they force you into them, ruining your life in every way possible when you can normally be enjoying your own leisure.
If you have a break from school (such as summer or winter), your parents are almost guaranteed to screw it up. This includes planning a vacation over your entire break, essentially making it wasted by the time your break is over.
If you have a break from school (such as summer or winter), your parents are almost guaranteed to screw it up. This includes planning a vacation over your entire break, essentially making it wasted by the time your break is over.
Kyle: Dude, my spring break was wasted because my stupid church parents planned a vacation on it, taking me to stuff I had no interest in.
Chris: Aww, that sucks crap. Next break, do you want to spend it all with me and play Smash all the way?
Kyle: Why, yes.
Chris: Aww, that sucks crap. Next break, do you want to spend it all with me and play Smash all the way?
Kyle: Why, yes.
by The Real Driller July 6, 2021
Get the church parentsmug. The concept of white people attending church service sounds exactly as you would except. Various activities include listening to gospel music on the old radio, bible study, and the youth minister trying to seduce the children. You will only find 5% of actual Jesus the other 95% include showing mad skills of singing and dancing to Christian rap.
"Gosh golly, reveran Paul busted some sick moves in white church today". "Gee, Westly sure had to good time getting molested by the youth minister today".
by olddyfart69 October 24, 2020
Get the White Churchmug. A player, typically a white guy, who participates in a recreational, often religious-affiliated basketball game with an unmatched level of intensity and hustle. Church Ball players are notorious for their aggressive and out-of-control play, making them a potential hazard for fellow players on the court. Often viewed as overzealous and lacking self-awareness, their unwavering commitment to the game is both impressive and terrifying.
by Wrxdrunkie April 4, 2023
Get the church ballmug. A Job Centre, a place where chavs congregate on a bi-weekly basis to confess their utter inability to get a job and pray to receive a Holy Handout from the government.
"He's always hanging about outside the chav church drinking stella"
"He's been going to that chav church for weeks now and they just won't answer his prayers, so now he's going to take up burglary instead"
"He's been going to that chav church for weeks now and they just won't answer his prayers, so now he's going to take up burglary instead"
by Foxhill February 5, 2007
Get the chav churchmug. 1) The official member Church of the Worldwide Anglican Communion in the United States of America;
2) The only Anglican church in the United States of America;
3) The church of such glorious, godly men as Samuel Seabury, William White, John Henry Hobart, Philander Chase, Jackson Kemper, James DeKoven, and al.
2) The only Anglican church in the United States of America;
3) The church of such glorious, godly men as Samuel Seabury, William White, John Henry Hobart, Philander Chase, Jackson Kemper, James DeKoven, and al.
Schismatic: "Yeah, I'm so glad I'm a member of this new Anglican Mission in the Americas church, with a total of like four dudes, one priest and a bishop; thank Gosh I'm not an Episcopalian!"
Episcopalian: "I'm afraid, Sir, that I am the only Anglican here because I am a member of the Episcopal Church, and that you are a consummate douchebag who can slather your smackers around my fist which will shortly be engaging your throat."
Episcopalian: "I'm afraid, Sir, that I am the only Anglican here because I am a member of the Episcopal Church, and that you are a consummate douchebag who can slather your smackers around my fist which will shortly be engaging your throat."
by Mr. Roofmeister McHammerdong July 28, 2010
Get the Episcopal Churchmug. The best religion in which dreamwastaken is god, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. The church prime is located in “the subs” in the dream smp. “The subs” is A peaceful area where people can WAP (Worship and prayer) and subscribe with twitch prime
by DreamIsGod October 26, 2020
Get the Church Primemug.