Sucker mucker

A sexual term to describe giving a blow job whilst simultaneously fingering someone's bum hole, without performing a preparatory anal cleanse or douche beforehand.

I was giving Daniel a sucker mucker last night and got shit under my nails.

by The Great Grifter October 28, 2020

Columbian Musket Loader

The act of packing cocaine into an erect penis.

Sam - "Brittney packed a gram of the finest nuggets right into my dick. Shit hurt but I was drunk as fuck and told her to snort it, too."

Ray - "She pulled the ol' Columbian Musket Loader on ya. Brutal."

by Nesquik Guy February 25, 2023

Pueblo Musket Loader

The action of pounding sand into the eye of your cock with a toothpick, then blasting at mach Jesus.

My homie and I were having a threesome last night, then he pulled out a bigger dick than mine, so I pulled out that Pueblo Musket loader and sandblast that nigga.

by PussyMasterJihadBomberNazi March 14, 2023

Load my musket

An extremely vigorous and/or hurried handjob.

(Walking into an Asian massage parlor)
Hi I've only got 15 minutes until I need to be back at work - how much to skip the massage and just load my musket?

by gunny815 February 12, 2015

Grab My Musket

A euphamism for male masturbation, i.e., apply lip gloss, bash the bishop, beat it, beat off, beat (one's) meat, beat the bishop, buck the slobbering donkey, choke the chicken, crack one off, date Mrs. Palmer, fap, five knuckle shuffle, flog (one's) log, have a date with Rosie Palmer and her five sisters, have a tug of war with Cyclops, have a wank, jack off, jerk it , jerk off, jerk (one's) gherkin, junior Olympic pole vaulting, paint the ceiling, play pocket pinball, polish (one's) knob, pound (one's) pud – pudwhack, pud wrestle, punch the clown, punch the munchkin, rough up the suspect, rub one off, rub one out, slap the salami, spank it, spank (one's) monkey, stroke the salami, wank off – wax the carrot – wax the dolphin, whack it, whack off.

Phrase coined on 10/26/2016 by ex-Congressman Joe Walsh @WalshFreedom.

"On November 9th if Trump loses I'm gonna Grab My Musket. You in?"

by metalmixtress October 26, 2016

Thanksgiving Cranberry Musket Balling

Kicking up your traditional musket ball activity (the act of taking a foreign object, placing it at the rim of the asshole and having a male take his shaft and ram it up the rectum) using a bulk sized bag of whole, fresh cranberries from your local Costco.

My grandma was furious when she found out my uncle Frank had taken her fresh cranberries and had been thanksgiving cranberry musket balling me in the back bedroom. She ended up having to use the canned cranberry sauce instead. I was farting cranberries out all through dinner.

One by one, he packed me full with a festive evening of thanksgiving cranberry musket balling. It really made me get into the holiday spirit early this year.

He pounded down an entire bag into my rectum last night doing a little thanksgiving cranberry musket balling. Let’s just say the next morning I gave some new meaning to the words Ocean Spay Cranberry Juice.

by Dick Onchin November 17, 2020

Alabama Custard Musket

An Alabama custard musket is the act of having anal sex with your sister, cousin, aunt, or mother, and ejaculating into their rectum. Once this has been achieved, lay on your back, with the female participant squatting over you. She then farts out her man-custard frosted stink nuggets at you at alarmingly high velocity while screaming "the South shall rise again!" as you try to dodge the hailstorm of custard frosted butt bullets.

Oh dang man, my cousin Bobby-Jean Billy Joe Bob Possum Dog gave me the worst Alabama Custard Musket. It was so bad even Mountain Dew wouldn't wash it out of my mullet.

by Unicorn Squeezins November 27, 2021