My Old Group....

My old group was sooooo much better than you guys, they let me touch them anywhere at parties

Tom "My Old Group...."

by [e-mail] May 27, 2025

GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!

When you want your pet named Gary to get a bath, so you strap a bomb to your chest in an attempt to scare him in to doing it.

Robert:“GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!”

Gary:”Meow”

(Robert explodes)

by Intruderalertredspyisinthebase August 20, 2024

Deflating my balls

To call someone out for blatantly lying & fully expecting to get away w/ it.

Guy: That hot girl? I've slept w/ her.
You: dude, Stop deflating my balls.

by OwordO January 25, 2015

my disk

Device for data storage in computer. Usually bigger than yours, because size does matter

My disk is bigger than yours

by dildo777 July 22, 2024

my disk

a piece of equipment, which storyteller proud of, usually because of it's size

my disk is bigger than yours

by dildo777 March 29, 2024

as soon as i imported my aud these damn beats spawned in 😭

as soon as i imported my aud these damn beats spawned in 😭

“as soon as i imported my aud these damn beats spawned in 😭“

by pulseLI November 20, 2023

The Vampire To My Unicorn

an amazing person, the best boyfriend in the world; very commonly perfect in every way; occasionally depressed, but never holds a grudge against his girlfriend

"On the card, I told my boyfriend he was the vampire to my unicorn."

by KellyLovesIcedTea January 17, 2009