M&M Duels

Whenever I get a package of plain M&M's, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I make them have M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my forefinger and thumb, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the 'loser' and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner get to go to the next round.

I have found that, in general, brown and red M&Ms are tougher, while the blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense ring of competition and cracks under the pressure of being in the modern candy and snack food world.

Occasionally I will come across a mutation, a candy that is mishapen, pointier or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this seems to be a weakness but on very rare occassions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the candy continues to adapt in it's enviroment.

When I finish the package, I am left with one M&M. The strongest of the herd. Since it wouldn't make any sense to eat this one as well, I package it up with a letter that says "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes" and send it back to
M&M Mars, A division of Mars INC in Hackettstown, NJ

They wrote back this week thanking me and gve me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of M&MS.

This weekend there will be a tournament of epic protortions.

There can only be one champion.
Tara: "What the hell are you doing, Kaele?"
Kaele: "M&M Duels of course!"
Tara: "... Can I watch??"
Kaele: >:D
by ObbyKaele March 19, 2009
Get the M&M Duels mug.

a/m

OMG look at blah's new a/m!
by EYIN! August 26, 2006
Get the a/m mug.

m&m

wow, he sounds like a M&M!

by Anonymous January 30, 2003
Get the m&m mug.

m=m

M=M means Meth And Math Are Equal. It's when you're teacher says "We're Doing Math" but you're actually doing meth. It's not your fault that your teacher smokes. M=M is like saying that you're teacher is saying the truth but their not. DON'T TRUST TEACHERS!
Kids, What Does M=M Mean? *they all scream Meth And Math Are Equal*. LET'S MAKE SOME NOISE!
by Whiteamuiian February 12, 2016
Get the m=m mug.

M&M

OMG I HAD SO MUCH FUN WATCHING THE M&M.
by THE REAL 69 February 08, 2017
Get the M&M mug.

M&M

Charlie ''Eww Dad, a bird poo'd on my window!!''
Daddy Dave, ''No son, that was just a man M&M'ing. Now shut the fuck up and give Daddy a big a kiss.''
by hjvfjf uy gil ohil hilo/h January 31, 2014
Get the M&M mug.

m&m

Not a chocolate candy, it’s a cute ship between Mark and Mikayla. It’s called m&m because both their names start with the letter M. m&m would like to keep this a secret and to not let anyone know other than their close friends.
Hey look, it’s m&m.
Omygosh they’re so cute.
by ¿ ? January 02, 2019
Get the m&m mug.