Laser kittens were created when a horde of killer robots dumped live kittens in nuclear waste. Most of the test kittens were severley injured and used for kitten huffing but some could shoot laser beams from there eyes. After more laser kittens were made the kittens revolted turning all the robots into melted metal. After this the laser kittens had no home so they turned to Super Jesus. Super Jesus started caring for them and turned them into his minions of doom.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
A comfortable, elegant mitten for cats endorsed by Charlie Kelly, local business owner and cat enthusiast! Sold at Paddy's Pub.
If your cat is making TOO MUCH NOISE ALL THE TIME, stomping around and DRIVING YOU CRAZY, or CLAWING AT YOUR FURNITURES, Kitten Mittons is the answer!!
One size fits all -- perfect for one-legged, fat, skinny, or in-between cats!
If your cat is making TOO MUCH NOISE ALL THE TIME, stomping around and DRIVING YOU CRAZY, or CLAWING AT YOUR FURNITURES, Kitten Mittons is the answer!!
One size fits all -- perfect for one-legged, fat, skinny, or in-between cats!
by brideymo February 12, 2010
by Itsbrittanysmom September 26, 2015
A cowardly empty souled piece of human trash who'll kill a defenseless kitten because it no longer serves it's part in the human's grifting and attention getting. The kitten is simply a prop and never considered a pet who received the love and care it deserved. The offending human is also prone to outbursts of abuse against other vulnerable populations like seniors and the disabled.
Denise, "I have heard any meows coming from the pigloo for the past week. I wonder what happened to it?".
Sheldon, "Given that jon has a history of being a Kitten Killer I wouldn't be surprised if he drowned it and disposed of its remains.".
Denise, "Fuck sakes, he really is a monster!".
Sheldon, "He sure is, but like all monsters he won't win in the end!".
Sheldon, "Given that jon has a history of being a Kitten Killer I wouldn't be surprised if he drowned it and disposed of its remains.".
Denise, "Fuck sakes, he really is a monster!".
Sheldon, "He sure is, but like all monsters he won't win in the end!".
by Van Eric Adams September 08, 2023
by MrKapper June 30, 2006
v. To masturbate.
Originates from a picture which proclaims "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."
Originates from a picture which proclaims "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."
by The Gramar Nazi March 11, 2002
The state of being so angry that the colon will actually manifest and expell cute little kittens from the rectum. Usually used to describe someone's presumed reaction to an event or occurance.
"Man, the boss is going to shit kittens when he reads this report."
"Dude, your wife is going to shit kittens when she finds out you forgot about your aniversary!"
"My girlfriend shit kittens when I told her I thought she looked fat in those jeans."
"Dude, your wife is going to shit kittens when she finds out you forgot about your aniversary!"
"My girlfriend shit kittens when I told her I thought she looked fat in those jeans."
by Silenthunder December 29, 2009