Potato alarm clock

When you wake up to someone shitting the turd the size of a potato into your mouth

Person sleeping: (snoring with mouth open)
Significant other: (loud grunting)(massive shit falls out into sleeping persons mouth)
Person sleeping: (wakes up and eats potato sized turd)
Significant other: "you're welcome for your potato alarm clock"
Person sleeping: "Thanks baby that was the best one yet!!!"

by LittleSinep November 23, 2021

Paris Alarm Clock

When your girlfriend won't wake up after a party night, you brush your teeth with minty toothpaste, and tongue dart her bunny-hole until she agrees to get up and make you breakfast.

Danielle was so sleepy on Sunday morning, I had to give her a Paris Alarm Clock to get her naked, lazy body out of bed.

by The Violent Yoda November 19, 2023

scottish alarm clock

When you wake up before your partner and you give them head till they wake up.

My wife was asleep till I performed the Scottish alarm clock on her.

by Sandolorian December 13, 2021

Alarm Clock Pizza

When you get really drunk and order a pizza online after the store has closed. You forget that you ordered a pizza because you were drunk and there is a pizza in the stores queue in the morning. They proceed to deliver the pizza when they reopen in the morning. You hear a knock on your door while you are sleeping and in the doorway stands the pizza man who just served as your alarm clock.

**Knock Knock**
Ben (answers door): Damnit Blake! did you order a pizza last night?
Blake: I don't think so, we were pretty drunk though let me check my app.
Blake: Ah shit, looks like I ordered a pizza at 3:30am last night.
Ben: Classic, another alarm clock pizza.

by pussylicker12 October 19, 2016

An alarm clock tissue

It is used in an instance where your boyfriend uses you up as an alarm clock to wake him up in the morning and crushes you into a ball and throws you off the bed to snooze you.

Rishik, I feel like I am an alarm clock tissue in this relationship.

by Ronin47 March 26, 2017

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 14, 2024

UFO Alarm Clock

This knee charmer is often found in unique individuals with ties to super rich secret submarine service. Although known in military jargon as “foreign objects“, emergency surgery usually unearths armament shrapnel and pieces of snooze buttons from top quality alarm clocks. Still as mysterious as jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, this enigma of a titillating experience is easily summarized as suspenseful supreme “pop” sensation and not for the feeble mortal, a UFO Alarm Clock is like kryptonite to Superman. If you ever run into someone who has experienced the rare UFO alarm clock, feel free to gift them only the best sour beers for a speedy recovery!

“Hey John, I heard about that UFO Alarm Clock”, you good bro?”

“Yeah man, nothing a good Sour Brew can’t fix”

by Torsiondrummer July 29, 2020