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Valentine's Day Tree

A tree one displays in one's living room in the middle of February. Generally, very similar to a Christmas tree, but much drier. Ideally decorated with small scraps of tinsel, but having a complete set of Christmas ornaments is acceptable. An alternate method of display is to lay it on its side in the front yard.

The proper method of celebrating a Valentine's Day Tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.

A 4th of July tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
"Welcome to my place. Uh, please ignore the Valentine's Day Tree. It won't mind"
by Al Benedict February 5, 2008
mugGet the Valentine's Day Treemug.

Anti-Valentine's Day

A day when everyone laughs at those in love and celebrate the greatness of lonelines...
And of course steal people's Valentine's Day Candy.
Celebrated on February 14 every year.
ITS ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
~steals candy from random people~
by Confuseded February 14, 2005
mugGet the Anti-Valentine's Daymug.

Valentine's Day Porridge

Semen, ejaculate, jizzum, spooge, spunk, ceiling spackle, cum.
Come over here and get your Valentine's Day porridge, dear.
by Ezekial Dantes July 6, 2010
mugGet the Valentine's Day Porridgemug.

Valentine's Day Massacre

The scam whereby Restaurants/Florists/Chocolatiers cash in on Valentine's Day by trebling the price of their products safe in the knowledge that the male suitor is effectively held to ransom with no other options open to them.
"You may as well wear a feckin mask, this is just a bloody Valentine's Day Massacre" screamed Tom to the restaurant manager whilst his paramour paid a trip to the toilet.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
mugGet the Valentine's Day Massacremug.

Valentine's Day Earthquake

An earthquake that occurs on Valentines Day due to many people having sex at one time. The earth's rotation is initially affected, then the earth's tectonic plates become destabilized. It is at this point that tremors ensue. Of note, areas that are known for people that "Pour the Coal" when having sex are most at risk for earthquakes of this nature.
Man, I was poring the coal and Valentines Day so hard that a 4.4 Valentine's Day Earthquake happened!
by Flightnursejim February 15, 2014
mugGet the Valentine's Day Earthquakemug.

Goth Valentine’s Day

The Friday before Valentine’s Day, or Valentine’s Day if it’s on a Friday. Goth Valentine’s Day is at its peak if it falls on Friday the 13th.
Happy Goth Valentine’s Day here’s some dead red roses
by STABBHHGJFJCJ January 23, 2022
mugGet the Goth Valentine’s Daymug.

Belated Valentine’s Day

(1) What you tell people when you forget to tell them happy Valentine’s Day

(2) That thing you tell people when you kinda like them but you aren’t really anything. So being their Valentine would be a little much
Belated Valentine’s Day: “Yeah she’s cool, I’m definitely crushin on her. I texted her happy belated Valentine’s Day because I forgot to text her yesterday”
by Sir guuuunels February 15, 2022
mugGet the Belated Valentine’s Daymug.

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