by 01080 June 18, 2009
Get the Snoopsnapsnoopsnoop mug.A mysterious location, Shropshire is believed to be found roughly between the Irish Sea, Manchester, Birmingham, Norway, the Battlestar Galactica and the M54. It has been said to be a place of wondrous beauty and mystery, with historical tradition from the Battle of Shrewsbury to the Ironbridge Gorge, alongside a rich tradition of rural arts, crafts and fine foods.
Unfortunately, the above is mere legend. In truth everyone in Shropshire is a farmer, inbred and with about as much IQ as a fly on a piece of horse shit.
Residents of Shropshire are deeply superstitious and territorial in nature. Visitors to Shropshire – cited by residents as ‘Townies’ or ‘City cunts’ – are often made to feel uneasy and often find the fact that no-where within the county is open to serve a decent coffee on a Sunday morning highly traumatic. It is advised also that if you are of an ethnic or European background to avoid Shropshire at all costs. Pitchforks and satanic rituals. That’s all I’m saying.
On the positive side, and contrary to popular opinion, you can get decent phone signal in Shropshire. If you are a visitor and find yourself being chased by an army of pitchfork welding farmers this means direct connection to the emergency services. However due to Tory funding cuts, these services are now run by a Sheep and pair of mating ducks, which has so far proved unsuccessful.
Unfortunately, the above is mere legend. In truth everyone in Shropshire is a farmer, inbred and with about as much IQ as a fly on a piece of horse shit.
Residents of Shropshire are deeply superstitious and territorial in nature. Visitors to Shropshire – cited by residents as ‘Townies’ or ‘City cunts’ – are often made to feel uneasy and often find the fact that no-where within the county is open to serve a decent coffee on a Sunday morning highly traumatic. It is advised also that if you are of an ethnic or European background to avoid Shropshire at all costs. Pitchforks and satanic rituals. That’s all I’m saying.
On the positive side, and contrary to popular opinion, you can get decent phone signal in Shropshire. If you are a visitor and find yourself being chased by an army of pitchfork welding farmers this means direct connection to the emergency services. However due to Tory funding cuts, these services are now run by a Sheep and pair of mating ducks, which has so far proved unsuccessful.
Person 1: Hello, I see by your quirky dress consisting of a tweed coat, flatcap, slight whiff of sour milk shit and with a pitchfork as an accessory, that you are a farmer and thus a resident of Shropshire?
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1. I see that you seem offended by my proper use of the English language, my pleasant demeanour and Topman dress code.
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1: I see that you have directed your pitchfork toward my Iphone that I'm currently holding, with a look of suspicion and fear.
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1: I sense that your going to sound out a cry to your fellow farming folk, and run me out of the village?
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1: In that case I'm calling the police! *dials 999* Hello? Hello? Is this a....am I on the phone to a sheep?
Voice on end of phone: Baaaaaa.
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1. I see that you seem offended by my proper use of the English language, my pleasant demeanour and Topman dress code.
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1: I see that you have directed your pitchfork toward my Iphone that I'm currently holding, with a look of suspicion and fear.
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1: I sense that your going to sound out a cry to your fellow farming folk, and run me out of the village?
Person 2: Aye.
Person 1: In that case I'm calling the police! *dials 999* Hello? Hello? Is this a....am I on the phone to a sheep?
Voice on end of phone: Baaaaaa.
by Shropshirescapee May 7, 2011
Get the Shropshire mug.Related Words
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Steve: Man, all of our friends said they can't come over tonight to hang out.
Emily: Really? That's Stoops McGoops!
Liz: Crap!
Daryn: What?
Liz: I failed my test--I'm Stoops McGoops!
Daryn: It's ok, we already knew that.
Emily: Really? That's Stoops McGoops!
Liz: Crap!
Daryn: What?
Liz: I failed my test--I'm Stoops McGoops!
Daryn: It's ok, we already knew that.
by wimby May 1, 2010
Get the Stoops McGoops mug.When you have been holding a poo in for a prolonged period and your body starts to shiver as a result
by Real Bearded Bear August 5, 2019
Get the Shoos mug.a game popular with many people, the point of the game is to try and acquire as much food as possible form your victims.
Rules and Regulations:
1. To play shooks you must "sign in" with all the people you are playing with, after you sign in the game begins!
2. After you sign in for shooks you must keep your fingers crossed whenever you touch food or drink, if at any moment you touch food or drink and your fingers arent crossed and someone calls "shooks!" on you, you must forfeit your food or drink to that person, if your fingers are crossed when it is called on you then you dont need to give up your food and you are safe.
3. If anyone refuses to hand over their food when they are caught they are excluded from the game, also when one signs out of shooks then you cannot rejoin the game. Keep in mind that if you decide to sign out, sign out with everyone you signed in with, if you dont sign out with people you signed in with, then they can still call you on shooks.
Rules and Regulations:
1. To play shooks you must "sign in" with all the people you are playing with, after you sign in the game begins!
2. After you sign in for shooks you must keep your fingers crossed whenever you touch food or drink, if at any moment you touch food or drink and your fingers arent crossed and someone calls "shooks!" on you, you must forfeit your food or drink to that person, if your fingers are crossed when it is called on you then you dont need to give up your food and you are safe.
3. If anyone refuses to hand over their food when they are caught they are excluded from the game, also when one signs out of shooks then you cannot rejoin the game. Keep in mind that if you decide to sign out, sign out with everyone you signed in with, if you dont sign out with people you signed in with, then they can still call you on shooks.
Jason: man this sandwich is good! (fingers not crossed)
Matt: Yo! shooks!
Jason: damn (hands matt his sandwich)
Matt: Yo! shooks!
Jason: damn (hands matt his sandwich)
by chicken_nuggets_rock October 8, 2009
Get the shooks mug.A three way oral sex game where one guy picks up a chick standing up so he can eat her out while the female bends backwards to give a blow job to the other dude who is also standing up to recreate a shoot or ladder. The sex position changes from a ladder to a shoot, or vice versa, when the guys reverse roles.
Guy 1: "Hey do you want to play some shoots and ladders?"
Girl: "OMG YES!!! I love that game."
Guy 2: "I bet you do... I'm in."
Girl: "OMG YES!!! I love that game."
Guy 2: "I bet you do... I'm in."
by Milton wants sex Bradley March 11, 2009
Get the Shoots and Ladders mug.by allie nymph February 15, 2020
Get the Shooshy mug.